It’s hard when people ask. I always say that I’m awful but getting better at pretending. Some of my friends have known James since he was little so are also grieving and it’s easier to cry in front of them, otherwise I usually cry once I’m in bed 
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I am truly sorry that your son suffered with his mental health, and I am equally sorry for your loss.
I also lost my Dad - my hero - to suicide, so I understand your pain.
Dad was also a highly intelligent, well loved, and successful man. He retired as a station officer in the fire brigade, and was very well respected in his profession as well as in his home life. Dad always had a logical mind and was mentally strong - qualities I believe he was partially born with, and partially developed throughout his career. He truly loved his family, had many hobbies, and embraced life.
Suicide makes no sense to those of us left behind. We will most likely spend the rest of our lives trying to make some sense of our loss. My thoughts and love are with you 
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