I work in a hospital where , on an hourly basis there is mention of a patient dying or end of life but nothing prepared me for the passing of my Mum two weeks ago.
I cannot seem to get the image of her in the last few hours of her life out of my thoughts and the feeling that she was distressed unnecessarily.
I have what I can only describe as a heavy heart. I feel a physical pain. I should understand that this grief but cannot seem to find any moment where I am not utterly sad.
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Its so consuming. The more we loved the more it hurts. Sounds like there was so much special love there x
I lost my mum end of Feb this year, still feel pain, hurt and sadness. Can’t seem to 'get over it’s. I miss her so much still and I am struggling to carry on.
Hi, I had physical pain in my chest in the first few weeks of losing my Mum. I kept having images of her laying there after she passed and I found it difficult to think of her alive. Those images do eventually fade ( I’m 4 months in) I remember happy times. Someone told me that when I saw the image of her passed away to then think of a happy time. It does help it to fade. Things do get a bit easier but it takes time. Take care x
I lost my dad 9 years ago under similar circumstances. We sat with him/slept in the hospital room with him for 4 days and nights before he died.
I never once thought i would get it out of my head. The flashbacks were horrific and, honestly, 9 years on, i still struggle with the smell of hospital because of the memories.
It does fade though. I never thought at the time id be saying that but it does. It did take a few years though for me to be honest but there was a lot of guilt floating around in that too.
I struggled so much with the image of him lying with his mouth open towards the end. Nomatter what anyone did they it kept opening and because he didnt have his dentures in, his face looked odd. So much so we asked the funeral home to put his teeth in and keep his glasses on (it was a burial so we didnt have to worry).
I hope you get some peace. I wouldnt dare to tell you how long itll take or anything like that, but it will come - a little bit at a time - but it will come.
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