Ten months on

It’s been 10 months since my Roy died. Today I’m crying so hard that my stomach aches. I’ve had great counseling, attended numerous grief groups, and still the pain is fresh like the ache of a broken limb, ever present. And I have come to believe that it will never fade. That this is life now, somehow hollow. He was 21 years older than me. My mother long dead herself once asked what I’d do if I outlived him. My answer was simple. I had a plan and I could go on. Never did I imagine that his death would cleave me in half. We were soul mates. He was my all and I was his. He took 3 huge gasps in the dying process. I kept saying there was no body to return to since his heart was damaged beyond repair. And today I worry that he was trying to come home to be in his body a little longer. He was hit on his motorcycle crushing so many ribs. He arrested in surgery leaving one chamber forever broken. His death was inevitable that day. I know. And yet I feel guilty as if there was something more to be done. Now I’m anxious, worrying that something else bad will happen. Crying no longer gives any relief. How do I like life again??


Oh Chandi, I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way, I’m absolutely sure that nothing else could have been done, and honestly 10 months is no time at all, the grief of losing my husband 10 years ago, still hits me out of the blue, and I’ve found that I have just got to go with it, and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day,and it usually is, my dogs are a great comfort to me, I would be absolutely lost without them, they make me go out walking every day in the fresh air, round our local woods, nature is a great solace, sending love Jude xx


So sorry for your loss I feel the same 6 months since my Clare passed but it feels like yesterday don’t know what to do with myself can’t imagine life without her but I guess so many people manage this forum is atleased somewhere to vent frustration I am also a biker and have lost friends best wishes to you anyway


Hi Chandi
so sorry for your loss i think we are all the same wondering if we could have done more i lost my husband 2months ago he had been ill for many years but always delt with it but the last few years were the worst and when he passed it always goes through your mind what if i had done this or wha if i had done something different but the doctors always said no there wasnt any thing i could have done different

for you to loose your husband in such a terrible way must have been so hatd for you but you shouldnt feel guilty you couldn do any more for him i have known a lot of people die with motor cycle crashes
i have a lovely greyhound thats helping me by taking her or walk and doing the greyhound walk still in my area and being with my friends and family

hope you get some peace soon