Tendency to use negative 'coping' strategies

It is tempting at least for me to use negative ‘coping’ strategies eg alcohol to numb the pain of loss. I have long term depression and other health issues.
I know alcohol is a depressant.
In fact I don’t drink often but when I do now I’ve noticed as soon as Im alone eg I’ve drank with a friend at home and they leave my home, I get lower in mood.
I was a shopaholics, clothes, not expensive buying and not in debt. In a way this is also tempting to do. But I’m not that interested.
I am seeking out bereavement counseling. I already have a counsellor short term, but she wanted me to try bereavement counselling.
Any comments welcome.

Hello mysmugcat
You sound very normal to me, especially if you have only very recently lost your partner. I lost Helen, my wife, some 8 months ago and yes, negative coping mechanisms are very tempting but I didn’t feel I had the energy to pursue them or like yourself with the shopping there was loss of interest. When I feel low I try and remember the good times and what we did for each other. O.K. this sometimes brings on the tears but as someone has said elsewhere tears wash the soul.
It is good you are seeking bereavement counselling. I tried it for a couple of sessions and decided it wasn’t for me, it is always your choice. I now go to a fortnightly Bereavement group {run by our local church but there are others) and find it is good to talk face to face with others in the same boat, even if we are all at sea.
Good to talk and take care.
Alan

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