I have lost both my parents within 18 months of each other, my Dad was 90 when he passed away due to a massive stroke, but all the family did get to visit him in hospital and say goodbye and the one thing we did agree on he would have hated to lose his independence which he had right up until the end.
But with mum it so very different, she had being suffering with a painful knee for a long time but it was thought to be just general knee pain. However, although she had a scan which identified a blood clot she did not receive any clot-busting medication and passed away suddenly and with no warning. We were all devastated and even now I still find so hard to deal with losing mum like this but losing both parents so close together makes it doubly difficult to cope with.
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost both your parents in such a short space of time. I lost my mum when I was 21 and even though I was 38 when my dad died I was really scared, I’m not sure a grown adult could be classed as an orphan but that’s how I felt.
Thinking of you. Bun xx
Thank you for your kind message and I too am sorry you have lost your parents, especially when you were so relatively young. I think you can still be classed as an orphan no matter what your age is. Take care and thinking of you too. Ian xx
Thank you Ian, I think what I’ve found most hard about losing my mum so young is what we and she missed out on and there are so few people in my life who knew her, it’s almost like she never existed. My dad died of a heart attack which was such an unexpected shock, it completely knocked me off my feet for a long time and I still find it hard not having a “family” home, we’re all in our own little boxes now.
Take care. Xx
You are welcome and I am sorry for all your loss, my thoughts are with you. Losing anyone you love so much is hard at any stage and always leaves a void in your life. Take care of yourself xx
Hi Ian and Bun
Unfortunately I’m in your orphan club too. Lost my dad then my mum 12 months apart. I’m an only child in my early 40s and I feel like an orphan. It doesn’t even feel possible that life turned out this way. My mum was 11 years younger than my dad so it all seems so unfair.
Anyway, enough about me. I just wanted to reach out and say I understand.
Ann xx
Hello, Thank you for getting in touch with me and sharing the loss of your parents. I think it just shows how cruel life can be and things like losing your parents, especially when it is suddenly and without warning. Good to hear from you and I send my best wishes. Ian
Hi,
I lost my mother at 37, and ten years later my father.
Each day I take the time out to say thanks to my incredible parents who gave me such a wonderful life, they cane to this country practically penniless, but they worked hard to ensure, my brother and I had all that we wanted.
The only advice I can offer is remember your parents as two people who gave life to you, part of their journey has end, but it continues with you, they will remain, forever in your heart.
Take Care,
Nilesh
Hi so very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my husband of 31 years last April very sudden. Now my lovely mum has only days left she is 91 I am staying with her in hospital until the end. I didn’t get chance to say goodbye to my husband Dell as he passed in his sleep. All I can say is take one step at a time. Thinking of you xx
I’m sorry about the loss of your mum and dad so close together. My husband’s father died 3 years to the day that his mum died and we thought it was such a coincidence that he went soon after and on the same anniversary. Your feelings are normal and they are temporary, they will eventually pass. Grief, as you are probably finding, is like a tsunami. It crashes over you when you least expect it and it can feel overwhelming. After a while, the huge wave retreats and you’re left to pick up the debris of a life you once knew. You’ve no choice but to rebuild but it’s hard and you keep falling down. You pick yourself up and you cling to a branch but it snaps, and you fall down again back into a gushing tide that although it’s retreating, it’s still carrying you with it and you can’t see dry land. This is the grief experience and it’s unique to all of us but it’s also a normal fact of life. You will be OK Debbie, it’s all emotion and upheaval at the moment but once probate has concluded you will get another period of grieving but also closure. Life will take you forward. You’ll never completely get over the loss but it blends into your future life, the painful edges wear off and you’re left with sweet memories of loss but a life loved and lived. xxx
Hi Ian,
I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad in September 2016 after a short illness, my daughter (aged 22) in November 2017 and my mother 3 months after. Life literally changes in a heartbeat. I’ve tried to take comfort offered by my friends and close family and take just one day at a time. I hope you can do this too. It’s not easy and I still feel “lost” but know that they would all want me to try to carry on and live my life. I wish you all the best. Take good care of yourself. x
Hi Cinders,
Thank you for replying to my message and thank also for the kind words. I am so very sorry to hear of your losses in such a short period of time, my thoughts are with you and you look after yourself too x
Hi Nilesh & Nina
Just wanted to say your posts really struck a chord. Wise words.
I hope you and everyone on here is getting through today ok.
Ann xx
Hi Ann,
Thank you very much indeed for your kind words.
Life presently is on an even keel, of course there are those moments of doubt which can arises out of the blue that brings back certain deeply held memories.
But then I reflect, acknowledge and make the most of the day however it unfolds, whether it be good or bad.
We can only deal with events before us, in life, no rule book exists.
I just try to be a good person, and surround myself with positive people who will help me grow in mind, body and soul.
Take Care,
Nilesh
Hi everyone, I’ve had a rough couple of days, I’m one of four, I’m very lucky I have my sister nearby but my brother now lives abroad, he visited over the weekend to put his house up for sale, I always hoped he might return to the UK but that dream is over. It almost feels like another bereavement and I’m missing my parents and my brothers so much, I know I will adjust but today I feel so sad.