Hi everyone,
Can I start by saying a big thank you for all the posts and messages of support during my self imposed exile.
The break has given me time to really work out who my real family and friends are and frankly some of it is not pretty,
We have two kids a”son” and a daughter and it’s been chalk and cheese,our daughter has been a rock helping with sadmin,funeral,celebrant,internment,headstone,certificates,probate etc,our “ son” I have seen twice since she passed,two days for the funeral and one day for her internment.
He lives around 175 miles away but didn’t show his face until the funeral and even then he tried to book a ticket for a football match on the day of the funeral,he couldn’t even be bothered on a long bank holiday weekend to turn up for her birthday and lay some flowers,needless to say I have cut all contact with him.
Thank you for your patience,love and peace to all.
Ron.
Ron I’m so sorry it’s come to this with your son. Was he like this before your wife passed or is it just since then , as I’m sure he is grieving ( or avoiding) too.
Anyway no matter what, just you keep posting on here and sharing with us how things are going.
We are all in the same boat so do understand.
My one is my mum who can’t even bother herself to call her youngest daughter (me) to see how she is coping as a single parent with 4 grieving kids.
Breaks my heart.
Sending a huge hug for you xx
I’m sad for you both @Ron11 and @roni52.
The people we need to step up most can be the ones to let us down badly. My mum lives 140 miles from me and only phoned me twice in the first 17 days after his death.
At least we now realise where we are with these people.
I’m trying hard to let it go. They won’t change.
So sorry @Ron11 and @roni52 . That’s really tough. Glad you have other support around you. Sending hugs to you both.
Hi love,
Sadly yes he was,previously he buggered off leaving us with thousands of pounds worth of his debts to pay off.
I am really sorry to hear about your mum,it seems as though some relatives don’t give a toss.
Sending an enormous hug back.
Love Ron.
Family are as different as chalk and cheese i also dont see my son,he calls or more messages me about once a fortnight, when i told him I wasnt coping to well he told me that i had to get on with life as this was my new life now.
My daughter as been a little better but not as close as I thought she might be.
Ok my husband wasnt there dad but I still thought they would have been a little more understanding. Hugs Jo xxx
Seems like we are all struggling with parts of our family.
My mum used to be great but when my Dad got sick (dementia and then cancer ) she stuck her head in the sand and wouldn’t accept that he needed help.
When he passed she just gave up, refused to go out, refused to meet friends, and just sat and waited for everyone to do things for her, even though she was fit and able. ( I didn’t agree with this course of action )
7 years on she is depressed, chronically lonely, and bitter, even though my dad lived a really good life into his 80s. She has refused all services and now is housebound and struggles to walk due to muscle wastage, but still refuses all help from physios, GP, OTs etc.
I am terrified of becoming like my mum, sad that that is , so I will keep getting up, keep being there for my kids and hopefully in time work out what on earth I will do with the rest of my life.
Please you all keep trying day by day, as the outcome of giving up is just devastating for all involved.
Sleep well all xxx
Hiya Ron , every day I get up and showered then I clean up not the same as I use to do but I try to do something everyday. Its hard I wanna curl up and just sleep my life away. But Gra ( my husband) fought so hard for life he was so brave so determined, I feel if I given up I am failing him. We can only do our best.
Hugs Jo xxx