The ashes

I was wondering what other people had done or planned to do with their loved ones ashes. I’ve read on here of many people who were keeping them until their time came so they could be buried together. Another said they had scattered them in the river Mersey. My partner loved the countryside and sitting looking out over views of hills and fields so I have decided to scatter her ashes in her brothers large garden in amongst the wild flowers and overlooking just such a view. I know she would approve of that. Just wondered what other people thought.

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Sounds like a lovely idea.

It sounds perfect and if you think she would think so too, then do it. You can have privacy which is important and have a little homemade service. There are many places that you should obtained permission to shatter ashes, it can get overwhelming. It was something I had not thought of and it was our eldest son who came up with the idea place for my husbands ashes to be shattered and I will have my ashes shattered in the same place. With or without permission. Make it a celebration. S xx

That is a point that we had considered. As it is there is a public country footpath that goes around his property ( he doesn’t have close neighbours) so don’t think that would be a problem.

That sounds lovely I personally feel I’d like too keep hold of some of mums , I know you can have it added too tattoos which I’m considering if not I’d like a little keepsake for ashes . I don’t really know how others feel but I just want that part of mum always near.

That sounds like a lovely way to honour your partners love of the countryside. We are also being scattered together in our garden along with our beloved dog Tyler’s ashes. However, not all of our ashes will go in the garden. I’m going to use the rest of the ashes to plant a bush using a bio urn. There is a small copse I know of that my husband used to walk Tyler so I’ll discreetly plant it there with or without permission. X

That sounds a lovely place to scatter your partners ashes. I’m planning to scatter my husbands ashes at the Lake District at a place we both love and was special to us. It’s his birthday in may so got it arranged to do it that weekend. It will be emotional.
Everyone must do what feels right for them. Remember there is no right or wrong way in this awful grief.
Xx

Every time I think about it I cry. I just cannot part with him. I talk to him every night and give him a hug x

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Nel and everyone,
Thank you for your thoughts . Its nice to know what others intend . To Nei I quite understand. Believe me I have several photos of Jo by the bed and I too talk to her at night.

I’ve chosen to scatter some and have a pebble and a heart with some ashes inside. The heart on my bedside table and the pebble on my desk. Having him near provides a little comfort

I agree that everyone must do with whatever you feel like doing with your loved ones ashes.
I scattered some of my wife’s ashes along with her mam and dad’s in the solway firth in cumbria near where we all once lived and had many fun times, along with Carole’s brothers and my sisters it was a lovely and simple but what she would have wanted.
With my wife’s remaining ashes I’m planning to plant trees in our allotment a place she loved and I can pass the time of day with her anytime I like.
Everyone be kind to yourselves and know that whatever you decide to do it the right thing. John

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It took me a long time to decide what to do with my husband’s ashes, when he was still with me we talked about our garden. But it will not always be my home so I decided in the end to scatter a small amount of his ashes in our garden and the rest in the sea at Looe’s East Beach in Cornwall. He absolutely loved Cornwall and had wanted to go on holiday there one more time, we never made it. But now he has his wish.
The whole family went and now we have a special place that will always be able to visit.

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I am going to keep some of dad’s ashes at home I had a bear made out of one his shirts and inside are a few of his ashes and he sits on the settee where he always sat I am also going to scatter some in our garden which he loved and when I get the chance I will scatter some into the sea at the seaside we loved our holidays together x

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Hi Peter, We scattered my wife’s ashes in the lake district, We loved it there so much. I go back each year, with my children ( grown up ), to place some roses, and spend some time, to talk to her.
It breaks my heart that I am not with her, but I will be some day.

Thank you TonyM and everyone for your thoughts. It was perhaps a painful and difficult thing for me to ask but I had decided what I intended to do and was interested to find out others peoples views.

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I lost my wife 2 months ago and we have deceived to have a small memorial garden at the local Crematorium with her ashes buried there, so we can visit when we feel the need, but we are keeping a small amount of her ashes back as I want to keep a small amount in the house and I have had a ring made up from my wedding ring and the wife’s wedding ring with some of her ashes enclosed in the ring and last weekend my daughter had a tattoo done which also had some of her ashes in, which she loves. Hope you manage to deceived what you would like to do.

I understand this. When my husband died I thought I would want to scatter his ashes straight away. I was raised to believe keeping them is morbid. But when I collected them I knew I was not ready. They are in a box in a cupboard so no one else needs to be upset by them but I touch the box and say goodnight when I am at home. I am moving in with our son soon and just asked him how he feels about having them in the house and he agrees we should keep them as long as it feels right.

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That’s nice of your son to think like that and make you feel happy. It is a personal thing but I can’t get rid of my husbands either. I took some out at Christmas and put some in the sea at Amble where we went most weekends. I’m going to take some to all our special places but when I die rhet can be scattered together again.

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Scattering or spreading ashes has always given me a lot to think about, I like your idea very much Peterj.
I have kept my husbands ashes in a stone casket and there is enough room to add mine to the same one when the time comes.
I like the thought of us being together, even as ash. I have left instructions for the casket buried in our sons grave and then we will all be together once more.
I’m sure that whatever the bereaved person decides about this is special in some way to those concerned and I think it shows the level of love and devotion in making this difficult decision.

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I had some of my husband’s ashes put in a tube,which I took to Benidorm and scattered them around the palm tree infront of his fav. bar.If I ever go back I’ll always raise a glass to him.

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