I can’t believe it. Having just lost my husband of 2 years 6mths ago to cancer 6wks after diagnosis at 64, then my ex got bowel cancel and now my mother has been told she has either lymphoma or thyroid cancer. She walked all round the local Loch 3 days before and just went to the doctor with a lump in her neck and really tired. It’s like de ja vue. She has had biopsies done and is waiting to get a CT scan. They won’t discuss the plan until they have all the results. Lymphoma doesn’t sound good. . I really don’t know if I can do this again. I was supposed to be going back to work and getting some normality back but this has thrown me for six.
I’m sorry to hear about your bad news so soon after losing your husband. Take each day as it comes and try not to focus on the worst case scenario.
My grandmother died of breast cancer 24 years ago, then 2 years later my dad died aged just 53. A heart attack killed him but he was in remission for non Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
I spent ages terrified that I or other loved ones would all start dying of cancer but no one has had it since. Although my lovely mum died last year of a stroke.
Try not to over worry and just see what the results say. It could be alot better than you think.
Thank you Cheryl. I am trying not to but feel it has brought up all those scared feeling I had before. It could be another month before we get to see the consultant again. As mum was Dads carer my sister and I have had to take turns. She stays close by but I’m over an hours drive away so have been staying 2 or 3 nights but can’t keep this up for a long time as I have already been off work 7mths . It’s just all so hard xx
I know. It really is.
Fingers crossed for a good result for your mum x
Hi Shonzie, I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through such a terrible time, the waiting is always the worst part. I just wanted to let you know I’m a survivor of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer, (had it twice) and have been clear for 26 years now. I wish you well and please let us know how your Mum gets on. God bless xx
I have just read the news about your mum and I am so sorry for you, and your mum. It’s hard enough dealing with the recent loss of your husband without having this additional worry. There’s no point in me saying stay strong and be positive because it’s very difficult in these circumstances. I’m thinking about you and praying for good results.
Hi Shona, I read your post last night but I didn’t have any words to match such sad news. I want to let you know that I have been thinking about you and your lovely Mam. When you want the absolute best for someone, maybe it’s your never ending love in abundance that helps you get through each visit, phone call and dealing with the medical profession. So so overwhelming for you. Such courage.
I’m off with the tears again, so just know I’m sending you strength and kind wishes, xx
I am so sorry that you have been dealt yet another hammer blow, I don’t know what else to you, other than I hope that all is well with your mum. x x
Thank you everyone. I am trying to keep upbeat for mum & dad but it’s hard. I was up until 3:30am and am now knackered as looking after them both and the flat is hard work.
Margarita that is such good news I’ll hold onto that and hope Mums is the same. She has just gone downhill so fast.
This group is amazing and I know will help me through this. Thank you
Hi Shona, you’re doing such an amazing job looking after your parents after all that has happened in your life. You should be so proud of yourself. The wife of a former colleague, who is in her 70s, had lymphoma last year, and she is now clear. Thankfully, lymphoma and thyroid cancer are cancers which usually have a successful outcome. Of course, I really hope your mum doesn’t have these, as you don’t want her to have to go through all the treatment and everything, hopefully things will be ok. Sorry, don’t really know what else to say, just that you are in my thoughts.
Abdullah, Thank you. I don’t feel proud I feel so helpless. I am watching her fade away as fast as my dear Bill. It’s bringing back lots of things I had tried to forget. I am convinced it has spread to other organs as she is going downhill so fast. She is 87 and although never been in hospital or been ill in her life I think her fight has gone even although I keep telling her she has to for Dads sake as he is 90 and still able to do everything, if a bit slow. They will be married 63yrs in a few weeks. I just wish the appt for the CT would come and we can find out. It’s the not knowing that’s hard.
So sorry to hear that she isn’t doing well, and that you’re having to go all through this again, you’re correct, it is awful having to wait for the CT scan to be done and the results processed, is she aware of what is going on? How about your dad? Does he know she might have cancer? How is he coping? Hope things are as ok as they can be for you all. Hugggsss.
Hi Abdullah, Both my parents are very switched on and know exactly what is going on which is the hardest thing. At least with Bill having brain cancer he didn’t have a clue what was happening Dad is from the stiff upper lip generation so is just very quiet but I know he is really anxious inside as he is losing his sight so mum keeps him right on pills etc which he can’t see.
Oh no, your poor parents. Have they got carers which can come and help? Will your dad be ok with carers or will he not like them coming? You mentioned that you don’t live close and so I really hope something can be worked out where your parents get the help they need without you and your sister having too much pressure on you to ensure they’re ok.
Abdullah. No carers. They haven’t needed any up until now as both were fit and healthy. How quick that can change . My Sis and I are taking it in turns. I stay over 2 or 3 nights and she does the rest as lives close enough not to have to stay. We will get there. Once we know what the plan is, we can then decide what needs to be done.
Thank you so much for your concern it has helped. X
Yes, sadly things can change quickly for the worse. It is good she lives close enough to be able to go a few days a week so you don’t have to do it all, hope your mum gets her CT scan done soon so you can all plan the next stage.
Mum was taken into hospital yesterday to start her chemo. Poor soul is terrified as never been in hospital in her 87years and dad and her married 63 years next week and hardly spent a night apart .
Covid means no visiting so she is having to go through it all by herself. My heart broke for her as we left her at the door of the ward yesterday not knowing when we will see her again. We can only be there for Dad and try and call her. All this is bringing back horrible memories of Bill who passed 7mths ago and I really don’t know where I will find the strength to get through this.
Oh no, sorry to hear that. Was thinking of you yesterday but didn’t write a message asking you how you were in case you needed your own space.
That’s so sad, so presumably they got the result from the CT scan and have decided on a treatment plan? Have they said how much time they intend to keep her in for? Do they intend to let her go home or into a hospice in the future, or have they not discussed that yet? Did they give you a prognosis or did you not want to know? That’s good your dad has you guys looking out for him. Hopefully you’ll be able to speak to mum later today and she will be doing as well as she can. Hugggsss.
Dear Shona, my heart goes out to you and your Mum. There is never a good time to visit hospital but now is a particularly bad time because of all the Covid restrictions. We can only pray for a good prognosis and a successful treatment plan. This is very hard on you especially as you are recently bereaved, but you will find the strength to cope with it, although it will be difficult at the moment.
I am so sorry, Shona, I do hope that the chemo helps get rid of that rotten, evil illness.
I am sorry for the circumstances. in which she was admitted, the poor sould.
x x x x