I lost my mum and now my partner, he was only 46. I don’t know why, but I can’t face the funeral. I’ve postponed talking to the celebrant twice now, I just can’t speak about it or summarise my partner’s life despite having so many fun and wonderful memories. I’m on medication prescribed by my doctor because I’ve been hysterically crying and it’s not fair on my kids. Not sure if that’s what is causing it. I’ve only just started inviting people to the funeral and I suspect my mother-in-law is getting quite stressed with me. I just can’t bear the thought of it. I don’t know what is wrong with me.
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There really is nothing wrong with you Sam,like the rest of us on here you have been dealt the most devastating blow anyone could face,take your time and everything at your pace,don’t allow people to push you into something you are not ready for.
Big deep breaths a large gin if needed sit down and be good to yourself.
RonXx
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@Sam1981 sorry you have had to go this again in such a short time frame. You are being severely tested and it makes no sense.
I never spoke with the celebrant, I had her contact details and one day I sat down and wrote notes about our time together, starting from the day we met. I looked back at our photos on my phone and put in a couple of funny stories, one about the holiday we went on and another about the van he used for his work. Then I forwarded it to her Whattsap number, end of. She read it out on my behalf.
I hope this helps a little.
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I think you’re right. I’m getting my three kids to turn away the visitors at the front door tomorrow and I’m just going to sit down and go through it in chronological order. Thanks both. X
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I felt like that when i had to arrange my hubby’s funeral. I think it was the thought of not being able to see him again. Take your time and don’t let anyone push you into anything you don’t want to do. I decided I wanted a pale blue coffin for my hubby as he was a city supporter and was a referee for Sunday League from when I first met him in the 80’s I was sixteen so I had spent 41 years with him but I still can’t believe he has gone and I have to carry on on my own. I’m here is you want to rant or chat take it easy xx
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I felt the same , my sister stepped in and helped. Take any support you can but don’t be pushed to do something x
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@Sam1981 Sorry for your loss. My partner died in late July, and I thought I could never speak in her honour.
I wrote out what I wanted to say, that she was a very kind and generous woman and then added a few stories to illustrate what I was saying and added one or two amusing things that showed, for example, that she trusted everyone. I then showed it to her son for editing, as I didn’t want to cause him or anyone else offence. After that, I recorded it over and over and got rid of any sentence that repeatedly made me cry. I even filmed myself and so became smoother at delivering the speech.
I gave the speech and everyone complimented me, despite reading from notes. I said I was glad I hadn’t let her down.
You can do it, if you want to, but not one will criticise you if you give the job to the celebrant. I was also going to read a poem about death, but thought all of it together was too much, so discretely asked the celebrant to.
My best wishes to you and your family!
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