That’s all we can hope for 
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Thank you.
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6 months today without James, I’ve no idea I’ve made it without him but i have. I still look for someone to blame but there is no-one. No-one accountable for this devastation.
Grief strips you of everything. Sleep is the worst, the loneliest times become enormous in the middle of the night, the finger of blame prods you so much harder and the “what ifs” scream louder. 3am is a lonely place that you can’t avoid.
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Jim. Thank you for your post, you really hit the spot, I could have written it myself. I am so sorry we find ourselves here, and sorry for the loss of your dear son. I found your post a comfort. We don’t expect you lose our children, so find ourselves having to process massive change, in ourselves in our lives. Navigating around that is a very tough journey, but I hope that one way or another each and every one of us makes it through. Sending love x
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We all have a shared understanding of grief but it is also as individual as the child we have lost, which makes it the loneliest space to occupy.
I lost my daughter 17months ago and while the world moves on I am still there, I can’t look forward, only back. I feel like I am trapped, alone, in a different world, a different time, an echo.
I try not to go to bed too early, usually 1:00am, then I can sleep until around 4:00. I listen to audiobooks, I can listen to the same chapter 100 times without understanding what I’m hearing but the noise helps to block out my thoughts.
@NotRelevant my daughter’s boyfriend still comes to my home 4/5 times a week, we sometimes go out for coffee. We both loved my daughter beyond words so I find solace in knowing his loss is akin to mine. I hope you find a similar peace with his mom.
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The loss of a child is unimaginable. The emptiness surrounds me, I’m so lost in a crowd . No one can possibly understand the pain, a pain i never knew existed until i lost James. I find peace in my isolation . As a palliative nurse the lack of contact from friends and family goes against everything i am and yet i don’t care. Nothing will ever be as hard and life changing as losing James.
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I truly understand your pain and what you are going through. I have been going through my pain for just over 4 years now. I lost my son Gareth in 2020. Aged 39. Nobody who hasn’t been through this pain, doesn’t know it. I miss my son terribly. He died in a hospice. I never got to see him at the end. I wasn’t allowed to. Due to his sister. She wouldn’t let me be at his side, when he passed away. I saw him a week before. It’s a long story, but I will never forgive her as long as I can breathe. I gave birth to him and I should of seen him when he passed. This haunts me every single day. I wish it had been me. He didn’t deserve to die at such a young age. I live from day to day. How i get through my day I really don’t know. My husband doesn’t know how to comfort me when I’m having a bad day. Gareth was his stepson. I often feel alone. I did think of bearevment therapy, but I think after 4 years it would be to late. I’m sorry you lost your son. My heart goes out to you.
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