I lost my beautiful Dad 3 weeks ago, he died suddenly at home. I was on holiday abroad at the time and returned home as soon as we heard. His funeral was yesterday.
I went to see him every day for the past 4 days and this morning he’s not there to see. Reality is hitting at different stages and at different levels of severity.
Mornings are the worst, sitting at the family table next to his empty chair. His glasses and phone are still on the table. It’s like he’s just popped out to make a cup of tea. We have put a small reserved sign on his placemat, I can’t bear anyone sitting there. I’m trying to stay strong for my Mum. I feel guilty for not being there when he passed. I miss him so much.
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Vicky, I get it. My dad died 14 years ago and it still hurts. It took a very long time for me to come around again. I miss him everyday and will for the rest of my life. We just have to learn to live with this loss as best we can.
Cry until the tears stop. They will. You will not be as sad as you are now. It does get better, the raw pain will subside. In 18 months you will be in a different place emotionally and physically. You can’t rush it, there are no pills to make it go away and nothing anyone says will lift this grief from you.
Grief is unique to each of us and we all handle the loss of our love one in our own way. You are very early in the grief stages, it is normal to feel as you do.
Please do not feel guilty for not being there when you dad died. We can not predict these things and there is nothing wrong with you being away when he passed suddenly and unexpectedly. Even if you were there, he still would have died. Awful, but true. He knows you love him, you didn’t have to be there to say it. He knows.
It will get better. In time.
Love.
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Thank you so much Peaches. X
Hello Vicky,
I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad.
You may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Abi
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