The forgotten griever

My dad and step mum have just lost there 13 years old son to duchenne muscular dystrophy. [ my half brother]. Im trying to be understanding as i can’t imagine losing your son and your whole world. My dad still has me and my sister , we are Grieving to … obviously, but i feel like he has made no effort to comfort us or engage with us or even acknowledged that we are griveing too. Its been 8 weeks and he has only initiated 4 conversations which have basically been " hi , how have you been" even though i sent paragraphs of comforting words to him numerous times. He’s not tried to comfort us and hasnt really done much regarding his relationship with me and my sister. I cant imagine his pain and the way things have impacted his life , but i feel left out and ignored . He hugged everyone but me and my sister at my brothers funeral and we should have be near the 1st ones to ve embraced. We just celebrate my brothers birthday too and he didnt even speak to us much then. I know he is hurting but so are we . I just want him to show love and to comfort me and my sister but i don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive. I thought losing your son would make you want to communicate and show love and comfort for your other childen and show them you care but i feel like maybe he doesnt care that much. Me and my sister have felt so ignored by everyone since my brothers passing and we havent done anything wrong , no one spoke to us at the funeral or his birthday really. I just want someone to act like there care about me and my sister and how we are grieving and our loss too. I just want to be cradled like a child , rocked back and forth and be told i safe, loved and cared for. Am i veing dramatic or overly sensitive?


Hi . I am sorry for the loss of your brother .

I lost my son 12 weeks ago .
I have a daughter who I love dearly .

In that initial early grief I was 100% consumed with my grief for my boy that I couldn’t help my daughter or husband much in their grief .
I wanted to help them but just couldn’t .
As time has passed though I have been able to help them a little more each day . We help each other .

If you had a good relationship with your dad before I’m sure this will happen for you all too .

It’s still such early days . Give him time and hopefully in time you will help each other .



I’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost your brother. I lost my daughter about 18 months ago. For me that pain was totally overwhelming. I felt I couldn’t even breathe and that I must be a useless mum for not being able to save my daughter.I absolutely was suffering shock and trauma. There is no way to prepare emotionally for such a loss, even if you know it’s going to happen beforehand. Your dad might be emotionally exhausted and running on empty. Just a suggestion but why not tell your dad you’re worried about him and you’d like to have a chat about all that’s happened and how you all feel now. If he says no you could maybe say ok, but let’s have a think about doing it sometime soon. Sending all your family the best xxxxx