No, no Clint Eastwood in site…Just how everything keeps flooding back over and over again…when 15-18 years ago tucked up nicely " back home " as we once lived once we had gotten engaged and moved into our forever house, followed by fur baby number two followed soon after with fur baby number three, a complete family in our household…our-my perfect life but as i look back at the times i moaned, complained about this and that, the wasted days, weekends, Bank Holidays as i had often said to my Richard of " doing nothing, going nowhere, one day we wont have any more weekends, Bank Holidays to waste " well here we are…Yes i was often complaining, finding fault, so what i am now thinking, what was i ever finding to complain about, well in hindsight, nothing, absolutely nothing…It really is…" you only miss what you had after it has gone…" well never a truer word has been spoken…I miss our house, i miss our three dogs, our fur babies, and most of all i miss my Richard and as i look back, the great life we all once shared…Yes i am putting most of the blame on my sudden and out of the blue PP-MS diagnoses for the move away from our house…i hold myself the other half to blame…
Jackie, please don’t give yourself a hard time for moaning. We all do it. It’s a part of every day life when we are comfortable we feel we can moan and gripe about everyday stuff. My husband and I did live a fast and busy life, but we still moaned and had dreams of different lifestyles…I loved the life we had deeply and will be forever thankful for the times we had doing crazy things. We used to say if it won’t matter in 5 years it’s not worth worrying about…also first world problems…was another common saying in our house. You need to realise taking the life you have when your happy for granted is normal and you should not fee
Sorry it cut off before I’d finished…you should not feel guilty about it. You know in your heart that you loved Richard and the times you had together. We must cherish those memories, don’t let your grief tarnish them. Give them a polish instead and try to remember the good times for what they were…part of your life you’ll always carry in your heart x
What would Richard say back to you? Today, if he could.
I suspect all our loved ones would tell us to that all that mattered was the love. And that we should not make ourselves unwell.
Sorry, I didn’t mean for the question and using your husband name to sound overly familiar? It was just to pose the question. I only say this as I know we are all grieving and feeling sensitive.