Ive recently lost my husband (2nd dec) and im just so scared of never feeling any better. People keep telling me is early days but every day when i think it cant possibly get any worse it does, everyone thinks im being so strong as me and my husband ran our own business so that is keeping me really busy trying to manage on my own. but i spent every minute of every day with him and i just cant see a life without him, ive forgot how to be a person on my own. I tell myself everyday you can do this i can live without him, but i really just dont want too. Im so overwhelmed
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Hi Amanda,
So sorry for your loss.
I understand your feelings somewhat , when my wife passed away on April 29th this year I felt exactly the same.
I was lost, sick to the stomach and unable to function properly.
I went back to work after a while and put on a brave face, I was robotic really, going through the motions.
I was exhausted every night from having to act as if I was coping when deep down at times I didn’t want to be here and even contemplated ending it all.
Now it is eight months later and I do feel better, I am able to hold conversations and not break down in tears every time my wife is mentioned.
I have been reading positivity books and listening to audio stuff at night to help me sleep. I have had counselling and also see a hypnotherapist once a week.
This has all helped and made me stronger, I am no longer filled with dread every time I think of the future, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Everything has changed, like you Amanda I was with my partner all the time, I still speak to her now and tell her how I am doing.
I hope she is somewhere listening, my guardian angel, and because of this I try my best every day, all any of us can do.
Grief will never go away but for me I realise i have to continue onwards to whatever life might bring me.
It is a strange and scary world at times, I hope you have friends you can lean on and talk to, I wish you love for the future.
Oops I have prattled on, just wanted to say that I believe there is a future for me and for you also, one day at a time and at some point in your life you will hopefully be able to smile and feel happy emotions again.
Joe x
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I feel for you deeply my partner was my world i have few actually no friends now because the few did not care for my grief they did not understand they stood back and that has also been hard…im only 49 my partner was 52 its been 7 months and the grief is raw inside me though im able to funcion in a way its all automatic…nothing motivates me or inspires me everything left of me i give to my sons if i didnt have them to live for im sure i would have died of a broken heart…but seeing their pain moderates me and fuels my heart they have lost so much themselves but being a mother i have to hide a lot of pain from them so they can receive comfort from me and assurance that i will always be there for them…they dont know im ripped into pieces…your in such early days…reach out as much as you can the road ahead is long and there is no timescale for grief…dont bottle things up if your lucky to be able to lean on friends do so…dont end up bitter and angry like me…grief is hard but grief and loneliness is harder…each day brings new turmoil…new stages new challenges…live moment to moment expect to feel terrible dont try to hide from it theres no escape you have to travel through this time accepting it will be the hardest time of your life because it will be…losing a life partner is like losing half of you and rebuilding wont start yet my friend…keep reaching out…time is the healer time is all we have
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