The intrusive task of having to go through my loved ones possessions

It’s been a tough and heart breaking afternoon. At last I found the courage to go through my loved ones private possessions. Not Anne’s clothing in the wardrobe or her dressing room draws. They will remain there untouched until the day I die. Why would I get rid of them? I don’t need the space and by their very presence it makes this house still Anne’s old home. A testimony to her once being here. No! I’m talking about that, but her private container where things were kept that were hers and in the safe. My god it seemed so intrusive. So very wrong. These are Anne’s private things I kept telling myself. You have no right poking your nose in to things that are not your concern. How dare you. But I knew it had to be done one day, and after many cans of beer I found the Dutch courage to force myself through this barrier of guilt. It was a tearful job and I hoped I wouldn’t find anything that would tip me over into some kind of inconsolable grief. A lock of her hair taken when she was 1yr old contained in a National Registration Identity Card dated 24th August 1948 brought me to tears. I kissed her lock of hair and will treasure this find for ever. Her Mum and Dads death certificates among many other sundry items of paperwork. Some going back decades. It was then I found two envelopes. Not all together but spread among the other items. Non had anything written on them. The first contained £100. The second £400. All in the old paper 20’s before these plastic ones came into being. That’s not my money I said. That belongs to you my love. How dare I find it! So I’ve decided to split it among our two children. Anne would like that. That intrusive act was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Thank goodness I’ll never have to do it again.

Love and Light.
Geoff x

Hi Geoff I posted something of a similar vein but with a different mindset. I couldn’t touch my husbands things ( not just personal things inc clothes) either but in finding charities that I knew he would support I managed to sort clothes that would benefit the charities. I do not view it as getting rid of them , my hubby supported many charities this is for me another way for me to continue his wishes. You state how dare you go thru her personal things I am sure Anne would want it to be you, the person she trusted the most in her life. My husbands death and the things I have had to do/sort has made me want to ensure that our children will not as difficult a journey as I have had. My husbands personal things I keep close to me, things that the children want I have given to them, things that matter and are family history I have written notes to explain who what and where about my hubby for future generations. I wish you peace of mind and heart at this difficult time. X

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Hi Silverlady
I know I’m still clinging on to my Anne and the lady who was the very all to me - as was your dear husband. I’ve spoken to my children about me keeping their Mums clothing etc and both said ‘What ever gives you comfort dad, you do it.’ Anne gave all her best clothing away to charity a short time before she passed. I’ve given my daughter Anne’s wedding and engagement ring but she refuses to go through her mum’s jewelry box which contains valuable items. She said leave them where they are dad. Well I wont be selling them so my daughter is happy to sort all this out eventually when I pass. My son goes along with his sister. He wants nothing but memories. I’m so proud of them. Neither are materialistic in any way. It’s interesting to see how we all deal with bereavement in different ways and accordingly, different philosophies.

Love and Light

I agree it is at times like this that we realise the adults our children have become, my son wanted his Dads key ring, my daughter his gardening cap, not precious in monetary value but to them priceless, take care.

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