The knock on effect

Loss as a young adult
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I lost my Dad completely suddenly & unexpectedly in 2022. He went to bed one night and never woke up.

It’s the knock on effects I am struggling with…

  • Health anxiety over my little daughter, who coincidentally was born just 4 days after his death.
  • Panicky feelings if I can’t get hold of my Mum. - Usually a perfectly innocent explanation.
  • Needing to be near my phone so I never miss a phonecall. My Mum rang me to tell me the news about my Dad at 6am. She got through first time & I answered but I still get worried if I’m not in the same room as my phone.

Can anyone relate? Have any suggestions?

I was 28 when my Dad died and I’m 30 now, so not a “young adult” as such as the category would suggest. But that’s how I feel. I still feel young to have lost a parent.

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I can fully understand how you are feeling i feel the same when i have to go to hospital where my hubby died i panic and get myself in a state . I had a smile reading your thread when you said your not young, im in my 60s so 30 sounds young to me.

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I completely relate. I lost my dad when I was 18. His death has overshadowed my whole life. I developed terrible health anxiety as a result. His death was expected but still sudden, things happened so quickly. I try very very hard not to pass this on to my own children but it’s hard.

I’m the same as you with phone calls too. I remember having a panic attack on the flight for my honeymoon because I wasn’t contactable for 3 hours. When we landed I just knew I’d have missed something important, that someone else had died, that something awful had happened.

It hadn’t. But I truly believed it would and I still feel the same way.

28 is still young to lose a parent, you’re right. By the time I was in my late thirties I had lost both of my parents. I don’t know anyone my age who has lost both their parents, and only one or two who have lost one of them.

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@Beckyyy112

I feel you completely. My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly in May this year just gone and I’m always heightened about other people dying now or being seriously injured. My dad called one morning and it was early so I thought it was strange, he called to say he was going to hospital and the anxiety I felt in that moment was like I was gonna drown. Luckily it was just because his wrist had been hurting and he was in a lot of pain. So nothing majorly serious or scary but it still knocked me sick.

The anxiety around other peoples health in my life that mean the world to me is a constant back of the head thought now. My mum died and we had no idea she had anything wrong with her. She had gallstones that we never knew about and died of a perforated gallbladder and they even discovered she had signs of colon cancer, despite going for a check up the year before after she had a bowel operation in 2019; to be given the all clear when it’s clear now that wasn’t true.

So the anxiety in relation to other people is around you is really hard every day.

Sending love xxx