Ive mentioned on here that I view my life in chapters. Since Penny died last year, Ive been writing the plot of my last chapter
Nobody knows what the future holds, but doing nothing because its not clear isnt any use to me.
So Ive taken the view that as I am 75 years old, but in good health, I will live a full and happy life for the next 10 years, then maybe be facing old age, maybe needing care. What Ive decided is that I really abhor the thought of sitting in a care home, few visitors, maybe incontinent (who knows?), and looking back saying to myself, āWell, Tykey, youve wasted the last 10 years of your life. Sorry, you dont get a do-overā.
So Iām trying to be motivated to avoid that by doing new challenges, making new friends, learning new skills etc, plus more mundane things like looking after my health, keeping my own teeth etc etc.
It might not work out as planned, but Iāll go down with positive intent.
I know that is what Penny would want for me.
Good for you tykey - thatās the spirit 
.
Iām just 11 weeks in but have a similar outlook though being a fan of Tolkien and Asimov I classify everything into a trilogy of books - book one was my life up to 1st April 1988 when I first went out with my then to be wife; book two is April 88 to 22nd August 2023 when she died and book 3 is from 23rd August onwards. Each book has a prologue and epitaph but as yet book 3 is still very much a work in progress and each book has a multitude of chapters covering between a week and a few years.
I cannot change the past and dont know what the future holds but can put plans in place to guide my ship to where iād like to be, though doubtless the winds will cause the ship Iām sailing to routinely and regularly divert from the straightest path - though thatās going to be part of the fun.
I wish you both peace and happiness in your future endeavoursā¦
Thats brilliant @Teejay62 . Well done, especially after only 11 weeks. I was still having emotional squalls at that stage, but I just had to hang on until they passed. But the waters will calm more and more.
Good luck on your journey!
Thanks tykey - dont worry I still get plenty of sudden upsurges of grief and can find myself blubbing at the most innocuous thing - however many years ago i did and for a while facilitated a course called Investment in Excellence that basically helped you to realise your inner strength and resilience and that you (I) am/are the only person who is able to either move (me) you forwards positively or leave (me) you stuck in a pit of despond - the course taught us to practice daily affirmations and to use the right words. I also did a course in visualisation techniques that help to prevent pressure turning to stress.
I know I havent and never will āget over itā and Iām still very much a work in progress though but by thinking in that way I feel Iām positively moving forwards. It could all come crashing down tomorrow however I think Iāve got the tools to be able to deal with that should it happen. One of those tools being if I start to cry I dont try to stop it and let it take its natural course. Another being to not beat myself up about things that happened in the past.
Best wishes to you and your continued life journey.
Thats a great skill to have developed @Teejay62 .
My main tool has been hypnotherapy, which I use to prevent continuously analysing the past and then beating myself up.
I did this therapy to overcome being mentally abused by psychopathic bosses at work, giving me ptsd. It works for our situation as well.
Great stuff!
I have a great ally, who is Tiny Buddha on facebook, who posts messages, not specifically to me, but very often fit me to a tee. I havent bought a saffron robe, yet