Hello, can I ask how I manage knowing that this is the last day I will ever be able to say….’This year I was kissed, held and was held by, laughed with, spoke to, made plans with, woke up to and smiled at my Husband, my Darling Ray’. Tomorrow I can’t say that ever again. How do I move forward with this please? I hope this makes sense.
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Hello MrsC.x
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. This transition in time can be really difficult. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care, Rhi
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I’m trying to stem thoughts like that by reminding myself how lucky I was to have been held, kissed, loved by Luie for over 18 years.
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I feel that too. It’s as if the world is moving on and leaving my partner behind (he died 19weeks ago.)
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I remember waking on new years day 2024 thinking it was so hard to accept he won’t physically be in this year. It’s surreal, all these feelings we get, it really surreal.
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It’s been 3 months since I lost my love. But saying I lost him last year sounds like a person who has moved on. It has put a distance that I don’t feel. I too am finding today hard. I don’t drink usually but have had a glass remembering my husband who loved a drink. Now I think I will go to bed and read a book and miss him like I do every night.
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There really is no answer to any of this, I agree with Ali29 it’s so very surreal. Like watching a movie you are in but none of it seems real and happened a lifetime ago. I am so aware of my own mortality now more than ever and feel like life is a race against time ticking away. I have accepted this void, empty feeling deep down is never going away but I try to do things that makes life meaningful again. Seeing in a New Year without your soulmate has got to be one of the hardest, saddest experiences you can ever go through. I am trying to ignore it’s relevance but the heart knows differently
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Hello MrsC.x I can relate to your post entirely as it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling today too - the thought of ‘leaving him behind’ in 2024 is awful. The only thing I can think of to quell these thoughts is to think that the new year is just a ‘man-made’ date, and that your husband will always be with you, in your heart and mind, as you move forward in time, and with you everywhere you go and with you in everything you do going forward. This thought has helped me a bit today, and I hope it might help you too. Take care.
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Thank you so much everyone. I am now able to make an effort to view it differently, you have given me positive suggestions. Also, you made me feel that this was a ‘normal’ emotion and that I wasn’t keeping myself in a loop of despair. Cor, didn’t we all love them with our whole hearts. Thank you so much x
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I lost my husband 2 years ago and we were married for 54 years but I still grieve for him every minute of every day although I have sons who live quite near to me with their families but they have their own lives naturally and that is how it should be but my heartbreak never goes away and I so wish that it would.
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Don’t feel you are leaving him behind, he will stay central to you but the world revolves around you - that’s my experience. Xx
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I’ve only just caught up with this conversation but I really wish I’d seen it sooner. I thought I was the only one feeling so bad about the new year. Martin died in August and all I keep thinking is he died last year which sounds so long ago. Up until now I’d always said he died in August, now its last year. To me it feels like yesterday not a completely different year.
I’m so sorry you’re all feeling the pain too but pleased to know it’s a pain we do all feel, it’s not me alone.
Love to you all and let’s hope it’s not quite so painful going into 2026. I’ve a feeling it will be though. XxX
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It makes you realise that time is not exactly how we thought about it - it’s not linear with one’s loved ones disappearing into the past - they stay with you always. After over 2 years my loss feels like yesterday - it’s just how we cope? So very difficult but how lucky were we to know love. X
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