The little things that suddenly spark despair

How is it that you feel ok for a bit then something small just sends you into the depths of despair? I was busy doing nothing very much when the phone rang and some irritating cold caller asked to speak to Mr…(my husband). I put the phone down but wanted to scream at her and ended up sobbing my heart out.

Hi im very sorry for your loss.My short opinion is this (because if i went into minute detail i dont know if that would help you ).Your mind body and soul has had the most precious person to taken away from you,never to return on this Earth .A stranger phoning you up is straight to the point,they dont know hes died .Which doesnt help you but it jangles in a massive way all of your body.I could go on but not knowing you ,i have no desire to upset you (even if i did know you i wouldnt want to upset you.Please forgive me if i sound too harsh.Colin (im 59 my wife Denise passed 04032016 on her 41st birthday )

The annoying thing is that I think I recognise the voice of this cold caller (it’s an Energy Company and I’ve asked them several times to stop phoning me and they take no notice). The telephone preference service is useless and it makes me feel just exhausted and grief stricken. Now his name seems to have been picked up by companies selling outdoor clothing, Christmas stuff etc and I get rubbish in the post - ironic really as my husband never, ever bought anything online! I don’t want to forget him and never will but these constant reminders are brutal.

I’m sorry you lost Denise and so sad it happened on a day like her birthday. My husband died on 11th July this year, on my daughter’s birthday (she was there with him too) and it was the same day my Mum died many years ago.

Hello Menessie. I am so truly sorry for your loss. They are a nuisance, those cold callers and I too get angry and I’m sorry they’re upsetting you. However, try turning it around and looking at it in a different way - I like it when someone asks to speak to my husband (doesn’t happen often now after 17 months) because it helps to keep him alive. Positive thinking. Sorry if it’s not helpful or what you want to hear but it’s how I cope. My husband has died but he’ll never be dead to me. So I grasp at anything if it helps to keep him there…
Sending love xx

I’ve had two separate NHS departments ring up to speak to my wife and a letter came last week with an appointment for a cardiogram. I found all those to be annoying but that was more about how useless the NHS is at sharing information between departments. If it’s a cold caller that asks to speak to her I just tell them it will be impossible as she is dead. They usually want to end the conversation quickly.

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