Hi everyone. I’m not really sure where to slot this hence starting a new conversation. I’m very new here and want to just get so many thoughts off my mind, thought this would be a good start.
I have been a single mother for the last 5 years and within that time frame I have lost 4 very close family members year after year and then only 5 days I go I lost the love of my life suddenly and I just feel so lost.
I’m so thankful to have my little girl by my side however losing the love of my life last weekend in a tragic accident is killing me because he is the person I turned to when grieving for my nan, grandad and 2 uncles.
It is my uncles and grandads anniversaries in a few weeks, my uncle passed on the 17th June 2018 and my grandad 18th June 2019. With the love of my life being now the 2nd June 2024. I really do not like June anymore!
My escape is no longer with me and now I don’t know where to turn 
Good morning @court
So sorry for your losses, life is cruel sometimes 
Do you have friends or family for support? There is also lots of bereavement support available. You can Google what’s local to you on-line.
This community is good to get things of your chest or to just to talk to people if you are feeling lonely 
Grief after loosing a partner is awful and some of the feelings and thoughts are indescribable. As many say it is a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. There is often a feeling of complete emptyness like your soul has been ripped out, your sense of identity is gone and the anxiety that comes over you is like nothing you’ll have every experienced before. With all that being said as time goes on these feelings are not as frequent or intense as you learn to navigate your grief.
Be kind to yourself, be strong for you and your daughter, grieve as you please, reach out for support and keep talking/writing to your partner to let him know your feelings, he will hear you
@court I can’t imagine what’s it’s like to lose your partner, but I do know what it’s like to lose multiple people in quick succession (my mum six months ago, my dad, a close friend who died a week after his 50th birthday and two close mates from my writing group who died last month, seven days apart).
I’m sure your head is spinning. Mine is too. Make sure you give yourself lots of time, and be really kind to yourself. You might be able to self-refer for grief counselling; it might feel a bit too soon, but by the time you get it, it might feel right.
I’m so sorry for all your losses. It is unbearable and it feels really unfair x