Hi , this is the 1st time iv ever found myself looking for help and support . I lost my father in law at the end of dec to covid 19 he was only 61 I felt I had accept this this and was copying ok untill iv returned to work (hairdresser) I find myself bursting into tears often and having waves of anxiety that can last for a few days at time . We are a very close family and its had a deveatsing affect on us . Thanx xx
Dear Staceyxmx,
What you are describing sound like what a lot of people experience when they are grieving the loss of a loved one. It is often compared with waves, sometimes the emotions just seem to wash over you, where at other times they are less intense and easier to cope with.
Were you able to see your father in law and say goodbye to him before he died, or was that not possible due to Covid?
Are your colleagues aware of your bereavement and are they supportive? It must be difficult in your job because you are probably expected to talk ‘small talk’ with your customers, where your mind must still often go back to what has happened. It must also be difficult to see other people getting on with their normal life, when your family’s life has changed forever.
There are no easy answers on how to cope. You may find some helpful tips in this article: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/grief-and-coronavirus-lockdown
Its good you have come to this site. I hope that reading other people’s post and replies will help you to know that you are not alone, and that we are ll on here to support each other as best as we can.
Jo
Thank you for your reply 
yes I find work mentally draining alot of my clients have equally went threw some heartache and I find this hard to shake off after my work day is finished . Unfortunately no I didn’t get to say goodbye however my partner and his mum and sister did im gratefull for this as soo many familys weren’t granted this . I keep going back to the thought that he knew there was nothing the docs could do , I’m really struggling with that part thinking what he must have felt 
2 weeks he spend in icu very unwell but still sitting up and talking ect and to no that you are going to die is just unbearable . Work colleagues are very supportive although I feel my work load is too much at the moment i work long hours with very little break if any . Iv spoked to another colleague on Friday about how I felt and plan to speak to my boss on Wednesday xxx
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