The loss of my husband

Where do I start . I lost my husband suddenly on 10th sept 23 . He was my world and I was his . My soulmate . We only had 13 years together and some of them was very hard most people would have split up but we carried on together me and him against the world . We had a love that some people never see .
Yes we had our dark times but the night before it happened we was happy he was in the happiest place .
I was with him when he died didn’t know what was happening when I phoned for the ambulance I was a wreck . But I knew he had gone before they arrived .
Not slept at our home since it happened am sleeping on my friends sofa . I haven’t got family just friends . His funeral was on 29th he had a great send off . I have been getting everything sorted for the funeral and made sure bills are sorted too . Work have said to take as much time as I need but I want to be back there but I know am not ready . I try and do one task a day and if it gets to much I just walk away cos it will still be there tomorrow

I have joined this group to talk to others who are going through loss of a loved one my friends have been great but haven’t been through it .
Thanks for taking your time to read this .

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Sorry to here of your loss.
We all know here how you are feelibf and how hard it is to get through these days.
We can only take an hour at a time and each day night monthbis different most days you feel this is not real a nightmare and you will wake up but unfortunately it is real and now you somehow have to deal with this new norm.
I am just over 4 months now since i lost my partner of 35 years snd some days are better than others but it will never be the same as before. Getting through special days like our anniversary in August my birthday today have been especially hard.
But i know he would want me to get on with life best i can do.
Things are never the same just different a new chapter in life we knew would happen sometime just not this soon. People do try to help but unless you have gone through this grief you will never understand.
It is good to say how your feeling on this site we are all going through similar at different stages. Getting easier possible but unable to forget the love you somehow never.
Take care and my thoughts are with you Lynne x

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I am 4 months in and life is so different. When all you want is your partner back nothing else matters.

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Hi my name is carole i lost my husband 3 months ago we were married for 37 years i to have been struggling with my loss i have support from my children some days are ok but last few days have been hard but i have just got to carry on

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Sorry for your loss and happy birthday today xx
Think it’s the plans and special days what are going to be hard xx

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Yeah it’s the missing them and knowing you will never be in there arms again or hear their voice x stay strong we can do this xx

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Your strong yes you can get through it I have had some really low days then others have been better we just have to make sure the low days don’t take over xx

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I lost my husband 30/07/23, my heads been mush ever since , I have three sons who took on the task of sorting everything out and I couldn’t be prouder.
We had been together for 43 years, 39 years married, he was my best friend and my soulmate , at 63 years old he was taken too soon. We had saved to have a good retirement and had no debt, mortgage paid so financially I’m in a good place but what was all the saving and going without for??
I miss him terribly, his name was Jon, I’ve started writing him letters (in my notes on my phone), just telling him how I feel and what’s happening and I think it’s helping, not a day goes by that tears are t shed sometimes so unexpectedly and I’ve got a great support network around me but I still feel alone.
I ve become withdrawn and quieter which has been noticed, I’m looking to find a counsellor who can help me.
My husband had a terminal cancer so I knew our time was limited but it was still a shock and I was not at all prepared, I don’t think there’s anything anyone can say that would help me and I’m on this journey alone,
Love to all those who have lost a loved one :two_hearts:

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My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean. Its hard to function. Life will never be the same. Take each hour as it comes. Be kind to yourself. Im lucky i do have family and friends and dogs. Its the loss of someone to look after is a struggle and knowing hes not there to look after me. The realisation he did so much that i took for granted. These are such early days but its helping knowing what i feel is normal and im not going mad .

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I know … its the not talking to someone i still miss 9 months on ! I miss the hugs and the little chats so much :frowning: Im.not good with my own company ! Xxx

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I miss his snoring, the mess. The sarky comments when watching Strictly. Coming home to an empty house. I dont think ill ever get used to this new life. Yet i am lucky but I dont feel it. So many on here dont have a family or friends.

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Yep !!! Id take the snoring any day too and the sarky comments about my programmes too ! Xxx

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Yes the snoring the little habits that he had , the jokes the laughing , but not knowing am gunna be in his arms or laying next to each other in bed .
Him laying on the covers so I don’t have any .
God I miss him

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My heart goes out to you all. It is the worst thing ever to lose your soulmate. It is all so new for you all too. I will be 4 years in February and it still feels horrible. Two years of lockdown didn’t help being on my own. Family all different parts of the country. Not sure I faced up to it all. I do feel I live in a different world now!! Sounds a bit mad but I feel like a different person too. It does get better but the sad empty space is still there. Stay strong!! xx

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Hi my name is Carole my husband died on 29th June just over three months he was in hospital for 17days I try to keep myself busy I was Roy’s carer for 13 years he went in hospital has he had ulcers on his feet and legs he was left to long has he had sepsis which they treated for a bad urine infection fun of clots he then had his leg amputated which he survived he came out of surgery and he was crying then over the next ten days his kidneys was failing the hospital let us stay with him over 20hours a day with him having dementia has they couldn’t cope with him I still hear is screams he then got septicaemia each day he got some thing worse he had five different antibiotics which weren’t working he then got pneumonia given to many fluids the doctor came to see us all to ask to withdraw treatment to go on end of life care he lasted another four days at this time he couldn’t speak but the nurses kept pushing his tablets down his throat but he was choking we said to them he can’t take them it was a horrendous time for me and our children but we know he is out of pain sorry for ranting needed to get it out

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@Deb5 4 months for me. Exactly the same for me. Sending hugs. Ann

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@Carole64 So sorry you had to go through all that. I really feel for you like all of us on here. Dont appologise for ranting, Ive done the same and it does help to get it all down in words. Take care my lovely. Ann

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@Carole64
My God i cant imagine what you have been through. I lost my husband 2 months ago and very suddenly. Last few days were horrific- similar situation with him not being able to take pain relief. However that seems nothing compared to your husbands situation. I think you will find solace here, i know i have.

Its a comfort being able to share experiences
And to know im not alone without upsetting my family.

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Aw … sounds awful for u and him :frowning: i hope you reported it !!! xxx

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Yeh same … i cant think about it … its too painful for me to remember him passng ! I just wish id gone private !!! :frowning: Dont remind me what a rubbish NHS we got … !! X

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