So I lost my Nan in September 2023 not because of any illness but to old age. I think she gave up on life since COVID. Once COVID came around she just stopped going out and just wasn’t the same after. She went into hospital about 26th August with water in her legs, she was diabetic. I spoke with my aunty on August 31st and said I would see her on 1st September. My aunty messaged me later that day and said everyone should make their way to the hospital as she wouldn’t make it through the night. Everyone gathered around her to let her know we were all there. About 5am almost everyone went home apart from myself and my aunty so they could get some rest as she managed to get comfortable and go to sleep. At 6:40am a nurse told me and my aunty she had passed. That was the hardest day of my life and ever since then I’ve had this enormous amount of guilt that I didn’t spend enough time with her. Most of the time I can get through my days ok and then I think about her and I wish I could see her again. I miss her so much and I just wish I could tell her one last time that I love her. I want her to know that I loved her and still do and that she can forgive me for no seeing her as much 
Hello @Leeann ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your nan. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to have a look at this Sue Ryder article -Sue Ryder Grief Guide
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex