The loss of my Nanna

Hi everyone ,

2 months ago my Nanna left us. She had been being assessed for dementia but my mam suspected something else was going on for a long while , suddenly she was admitted to hospital and it was very quickly found that in fact she had a stage 4 growth on her brain that had travelled from somewhere else in her body. My mam and aunty fought to bring her home as we knew the outcome wasnt good , she came home the next day and within 2 weeks she was gone , she caught pneumonia due to the suspected lung cancer and we cared for her at home , she died with my grandad laid by her side , I saw my family fall apart that day , she was the glue that held us all together :heart: life isnt the same and i doubt it ever will be , i havent grieved ive had a few bad days but i cant accept it , i just keep feeling like its a bad dream and ill wake up soon , i wake up every morning and i wait to know its over then reality hits , i sit and smell her pyjamas to feel close to her and I talk to her pictures, i am dead inside and I just want her back , im struggling as i dont feel safe in the world , i suffered trauma as a child and she was my safe person and my safe place and she always had my back , my granda is lost , my mam is absolutely lost also and im just here wondering why I cant process any of it, I know its only been 2 months , im afraid for the future and i miss her so very much , we got to say our goodbyes and i know were very blessed for that but I want her back! I look fine from the outside , im a pro at wearing a mask , but inside im scared and I feel so alone and the only person i really want is her , thank you for listening x

1 Like

Hello @Kellylouise,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Nanna.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share these Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you coping with your grief.

I really hope you find the community to be a support to you - you are not alone.

Take care,

@Kellylouise I am so sorry for your loss :(. I lost my Grandad two months ago, who had dementia and pneumonia. He passed suddenly and its one of the worst feelings ever. I’m struggling knowing I will never see him again, and I’ll start crying at random times. Like you, I felt as well that it was a bad dream and I just wanted the dream to be over. I am sending you all my love xx