The Loss Of My Sister

hey everyone, im new here but i feel like this is something i need to share.

I lost my sister back in August 2023, aged just 28 (i am 24). She had kidney failure for the last 10 years of her life, therefore taking away what an “average” 28 year old would have been able to achieve.

She was the light of the room, her laugh was contagious in EVERY way. She was never just my sister, but also my best friend.

I suffer from mental health issues myself (including anxiety & depression). She was almost like my therapist. So when she passed i lost my outlet of all my feelings too.

She passed away from a cardiac arrest on august 5th 2023. I feel so guilty for her death, i wish i had seen the signs sooner, maybe i could have saved her or got her the help she needed before she passed. There were just no warning signs. Im trying my hardest to come to terms with her death but im currently in the depressed / angry phase. I know this will soon simmer, and ill be able to come to terms with it. But im just struggling at the moment.

sending love to you all, Lauren x

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Laurennn

Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your sister. People tend to forget just what great friends, indeed as you say best friends siblings can be for one another. If you are lucky enough to have that great bond - and you obviously were - of course you are going to feel like you do. I hang onto that old saying about grief being the price we have to pay for love : sometimes that helps me I know it does. Sometimes of course it just doesn’t. It doesn’t seem like a fair exchange at all. Keep reading through the posts on this site though. Some do really help you know, and you are absolutely right to let your feelings out when you feel as depressed and anxious as you are.

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Hi Laurennn.
Im sorry to hear of your loss and so sudden in the end and so young. She had been a warrior for 10 years as she dealt with her condition as well as being a support for you. I feel your loss
I too have recently lost my big sister. In October 2023 to Cancer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly 10 years ago. 2 years after first diagnosis she found it was in her lungs and due to area was told it was not curable, but treatable. She got in with life like a true warrior and we kept having lots of advdntures together. We loved each others company. In December 2022 they found a spot in her liver and changed treatment a few times. She started to become unwell around August and then in October she was told she had weeks to live. As you can imagine my family were devestated. As I am a nurse i took on the responsibility of her care. I wanted to be there for her and care for her and my family dealing with everything, but once everything quitened, the grief started to hit and I too am now going through an angry phase along with the sadness and its knowing how manouvre life and find the right way to deal with the emotions. I havent tried anything yet and I know you may want to find different coping strategies, but if there is something I find that helps then I could maybe recommend to you. I would like to help.
Take Care
Amanda

I’m so sorry for your loss :broken_heart::cry: A sister is not only a sibling but sometimes a best friend & companion through life’s ups & downs as well . I lost my little sister a couple of months ago so I can relate to the thing you said about the one you’d share things with. Such a void when they go :cry: Sending lots of love & compassion your way

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Hi Laurenann and Worolla, i am so sorry for both your lossess. My sister had end stage kidney failure for 5 years, and was diagnosed with highly advanced endometrial cancer in July 2023. She passed away on 17th December 2023. She was 49. I am also a nurse, i reduced my hours, and then took time off work, so i could spend as much time with her as possible. I was involved, with her care, welfare and financial needs. It has left a very large void. I am finding it really hard to accept, my sister had a very difficult home life, as well as her health issues, and had a very poor deal in life. I am off work and on half pay, which will run out on 24th April. I am struggling financially, i am palliative care nurse in my local hospice. Sometimes i don’t know if i will be able to cope with going back there or to nursing in general. I have worked in care since 1988, and as a nurse since 1996. I also feel i may be burnt out. I am finding it very hard to get my mood up, to try to be positive and to see the point in things and find things to look forward to. It helps me to post on here, and to read what other people have written and to see how they are feeling and trying to cope. Thankyou