Seven reasons why grief is heavy:
Constantly replaying memories.
Endless “what ifs” and regrets.
Guilt, spoken and unspoken.
Pressure to seem “ok”.
Unexpected emotional triggers.
Feeling out of sync with the world.
Missing them every moment .
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Yes, also , keep asking “why?” and feeling this cannot be for real, it is impossible that they are truly gone.
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Yes. I often think it’s a bad dream and I’ll wake up in the morning back in time, and everything will be ok again. It’s wishful thinking, I know. but our brains need to time out sometimes for our own sanity. Even after 10 months almost I still think like that. Take care.
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Hi, to go back in time and to different circumstances, I don’t want to see my husband ill again. I miss my husband very much, its sad we’ll never get to grow old together, …
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They aren’t sick anymore. They see, they know and they understand better than we do down here. It has been 16 months for me and I still cry every day, or have the tears in my eyes. This afternoon is a weeping time for me. It wouldn’t be right to make that agony much longer… I sacrifice my suffering, so he is in peace forever… 
Janka
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Yes they aren’t sick anymore, they are renewed, i picture my husband looking fit , healthy and smiling 
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Me too. I still can’t believe it. I still hope that he will come back home to me. I still dream that his face will appear somewhere. I really do! Janka
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Grief can be really debilitating, emotionally, physically, etc. I never realized it till I lost my spouse. And, you can’t explain it to anyone who hasn’t lost their spouse.
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Hello Nancy, so very true
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Tomorrow it will be 8 months since I lost my husband to cancer. So far I had the first Christmas, his first birthday, first Easter, our first anniversary ( it would have been 45 years this year) and two days ago my first birthday without him… I still hope he was still with me, yes weekends are the worse, me too I don’t like to call anybody because I understand it’s their family time. I try to live but is always as though my left side is missing or numb so I have to drag it… I believe in God and that helps because I have hope but grief is grief and it hits you when you least expect it. Thank you for sharing your experiences it make me feel less lonely in this even if we are not in person… I wish a better new week to all.
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Good morning! There have been so many firsts for me since the last year as well. The faith is the only thing that keeps me going on. I talk to my most beloved husband all the time. His lighting picture on the window fills in my emptiness. He is always with me… Hugs from Janka
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Dear @Febe Tomorrow it will be 5 months since I lost my wonderful husband of 35 years to a sudden cardiac arrest. I cannot understand what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life now that he’s gone, I cry every day for hours and the pain of grief is awful.
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Dear Anita, I do it to and it has been more than a year now. It’s good that we can come here for a comfort. My faith is the only thing that keeps me going on, but when I see those fake faces in my church, I come back here again.
Hugs from Janka
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I worked w/ a fake person like that. She was always going on about her faith, but she treated the staff like *&^%. Everyone laughed at her behind her back. 
I don’t think anyone was fooled by her obvious duplicity.
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So sorry that you have been having to deal with fake ppl at church. Sending you a big hug @Janka
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A few images stuck in my mind. My tears flood every time I think about them.
When the carer took off my hubby’s top, I bursted into tears when I saw his skinny arms. They were only skin rub on bones!
My bubby’s last words to me were ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’…
I and my hubby snuggled up for a nap when he passed away. I had to leave him behind alone in the hospice.
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Hi Sam, all those things you experienced, with your hubby, seem too familiar with me.. my husband got really thin, his doctor even told me in the hospital don’t let them do cpr, they’ll break his bones, and he’ll have more problems, ..imagine hearing that ??.. i didn’t have any last words with my precious husband. He was in a coma the following day.…
passed away 2 weeks later
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Dear Light Mary, I sympathise with you, I have no last words with my husband once arrived at the hospice after 1) days in hospital he fell asleep and never spoke again. This makes me really sad, not a last I love you to remember… I know this is not an encouragement but I hope it makes you feel you are not the only one with that regret.
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Same for me too. My husband couldn’t discuss his diagnosis with me, just couldn’t go there and I knew he was probably trying to protect me. He was in hospital for almost 8 weeks, he was gone 6 weeks after official diagnosis. He was moved to a private room 3 days before he died, he called his mother to ask her to come and bring his brother and sister. We spent all of our time with him, but my MIL is very difficult, and it was impossible to get any time alone with him.
A lot of stressful things happened in those few days, with my family and his, interfering and also acting very inappropriately after he passed away. It was a terrible experience, and not the calming atmosphere I wanted for us both.
There was no ‘I love you’, no words at all, before he died. He just slipped away. And we were so close, proper soulmates. It’s a huge sadness for me now. The only thing he told me during his time in hospital was that he had his dark times at night, when he couldn’t sleep.
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We were blessed actually that everybody kept away… it was sad in a way but at least there weren’t interferences. My dad is 98 and couldn’t come, both my in laws weren’t anymore with us and so my mum but other family could have interfered but they weren’t present enough. And also at the funeral was most our real friends that were there. Such a misery when people lack sensitivity towards other people’s end of life situations. But you know where we can get comfort from? We have done all we could for our soulmates under the circumstances. I even had to wash him whilst in hospital because nurses didn’t have time to wait when he wasn’t in pain to be handled, they had tgeir allotted time and I understand but some time my darling had to wait up to two hours before his pain control… so distressing. But for me it was a privilege to nurse him to the last. That was my tangible way to say to him I love you. Today is 8 months since he passed. My heart goes out to you as I hope you will find something that may bring you comfort in all the sadness. Look for it and let it do good to your heart. Hope to hear from you again.
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