Having lost our daughter 4 months ago we went away reluctantly on holiday that was booked a year ago. Surprised to relax a little whilst we were away and it gave my husband and I time to talk to each other about her unfettered by everything else at home. Coming home we stopped in a motorway service station when I heard another mum talking to her child to let them know they had arrived home safely. And then it hit me, like a ton of bricks! I so desperately wanted to talk to my daughter, to hear her voice, to look forward to seeing her after the break, I broke down in the middle of Costa, sobbing and unable to hold back the tears. I can’t imagine what everybody thought. What’s more even if I wanted to stop I couldn’t ,
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Oh buff I totally understand I was just posting that this time last year I went to an event with my son and had so much fun. I was reading about the event that was going to happen again this year, and I just broke down and cried. All the memories of the fun time we had came rushing back and made me miss him so much. Those triggers they just come out of nowhere and it could be something as simple as seeing something that you’re child used to love or read or listen to. You are in early days so those things are going to happen but will lessen in time. It Will be a year for me since I lost my son Theo. Logically I know that I will have setbacks but when they happen you forget that part of the process. Sometimes you need a reminder and the people on here are willing to help and give you encouragement if and when you do have bad days. It will get better little by little much love 
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Hi grieving parents an à wful club to be in.Just reading about things that trigger our loss though our loved ones are in our mind 24/7 Everything reminds me of my lovely son who I lost in March I cry so much my whole body aches with the pain.I have just come to bed but before I came I decided for the first time since my boys death to listen to a song he sang for me last year on my mobile phone I cried then it was as though he was standing next to me.That got me to thinking of a Paul Simon concert he and I went to the year my lovely husband died.We weren’t going to go but the memory of my son my only child dancing at the theatre will live with me forever and the fact his dad loved Paul Simon too. Yes triggers can set off so many happy and sad emotions to but I can’t hold back I just have to cry.I want my hubby and son back here with me.Obviously will never happen but all memories good and bad are who were as a family.God Bless you all xx
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My story is similar to Marg’s in that I lost my husband (suddenly) 17 years ago. My beloved son died in April. He was 49. He had a brain tumour which was successfully treated, much to our joy and relief, but the tumour came back, and eventually he died. I miss him so much and am finding the grief very hard to bear. He would have been 50 in July - we went to his grave and wept.
I can understand about the Paul Simon concert being a trigger. Music brings back memories. For me, a special memory was a Billy Joel concert we went to as a family. Such a happy time.
I am lucky to have two other children and grandchildren, but the loss of my eldest son has left a huge gap in our family, and a huge void in my heart. I have good friends too, but feel very alone.
Bless you all. Susan-J xx
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Hi Susan J1 So sorry for your loss.Yes it is such a lonely feeling the loss of a child.My siblings and their families are great ,friends are too.But my little family was my hubby and my son.
I will feel a little more comfort once their headstone is replaced tho I still do visit their grave.I can’t imagine the day that I will ever feel happy again.I don’t think it will happen but I will carry on and listen to the music they loved thou rarely get to the end of any song without crying.Love to you xx
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Hi just a little afterthought after my previous posts.I know music is a vital part in our lives as parents and our children.So I just thought I would let you know one of the songs I had at my sons funeral.He was a great Bob Dylan fan.SHOOTING STAR Lovely words worth a listen love Marg x
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Hi I to am called sue and I also lost my son due to a brain tumour. I nursed him at home he was 38. I now have lost 2 sons my other son died 40 years ago of sudden infant syndrome. The loss has really hit me this year. I’ve only just found this group and joined tonight. Sending you a hug from the mum group no mum wants to join xxx
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Hello Sue - I helped to look after my son Oliver during his final weeks, as he also died at home, with his wife and son beside him. We were all there, but taking it in turns to sit with him. I was relieved Oli’s suffering was over, but it’s beyond sad that he is no longer with us. My daughter-in-law was marvellous, but she is now heartbroken. I’ve just been staying with her for a few days to help out with child care during half-term.
I feel terribly sad being in that house, but I hide my tears from the children. They were such a happy family.
I am so sorry too about the loss of your baby boy all those years ago. What a lot of grief you have been through, and are now facing again. I hope your pain will gradually ease and that you find it helpful to share your story on this site with people who know how it feels to lose a child. We all try to strengthen and support each other.
Marg, I’m going to listen to Dylan’s “Shooting Star” now. Thanks for the recommendation.
Love to all of you out there - SusanJ 
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Hi. So sorry for your losses. I too lost my firstborn son 27 years ago of sudden infant death syndrome. He was 2 years, 5 months and a week old. So many things just bring him back to me in a flash. Like it was yesterday. Cotton eyed Joe, Love is all around by Wet Wet Wet. I walk past a Postman Pat sit in car and see him sat there laughing his head off. I never ever thought I would be able to carry on. The pain was unbearable. But slowly over the years, you learn to put it in a box and carry on. Expecting the triggers every now and again is something I welcome. Bringing my two daughters into the world helped me to heal and keep me busy. But Adam is never forgotten. My lovely dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I hope and pray they are now together.