I know it’s early days (barely a month) but the very worst part of every awful day are the mornings
Waking up and straight away realising he’s not here - he’s not anywhere.
No desire to get up and just a feeling of despair and such sadness
But I am getting up and trying to start each day.
So I suppose that is something
But it’s so,hard - every single day starting with crying and just turning it all over in my head trying to find a grain of hope- when there isn’t one
Sorry everyone - I know others must be feeling the same but I felt the need to,share
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Hello Sandra7,
I really feel for you. It is so raw for you. I am nearing six months and I still have that feeling when I wake up, but not as gut wrenching as it was. I had a really bad day yesterday but hoping for a better one today and for you also.
Take care.x
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Good morning Sandra, I agree with you, it’s so difficult to sleep too.
I am 9 months in and every morning I wake up expecting Pete to be next to me, I miss him so very much.
Also I wonder where he is, we had such a close bond, as others on here have said I feel like half of me is missing.
His first words were always “Good morning gorgeous”
Well done to you for getting out of bed, it so hard, but as time goes on you will find it the strength to deal with it, I never thought I would but it came from somewhere.
Pete and didn’t have children but we have 2 dogs and they have helped me to get out of bed, a couple of months before Pete died we had joined a dog walking group,
I make myself go most mornings and even though it a struggle some days, it does help me.
It’s very early days for you, so be kind to yourself and only do the things you want to do, its very easy for people to tell you what you should be doing… . Its your own unique journey and only you will know what’s right for you.
I try to think about what Pete would want for me and hope he would be proud that I’ve tried to carry on although I still can’t think about the future and very much live day to day.
Sending you much love
Muldool
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Thank you loopy lol - it is encouraging to,hear that as the time passses things might ease a bit .
I hope you have a good day today
Bless you it’s tough and it early days . Mornings are not so good for me either but I find getting up and starting the day in a different way eases it and I can manage to ride it out by lunchtime
Having a plan for the day helps focus your mind on the here and now and not on the what if’s. Just be kind to yourself and take those baby steps slowly and don’t expect too much of yourself . Take care x
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Ah thank you Muldool - like you we had no children and we have just one dog - so I do have to get up for her. Poor thing has suffered too and misses him hugely and misses all the bustle and noise in the house which is now so quiet
I would like to join a dog walking group if I could fine one - at least for a while - I don’t want to go,back to work for a few months yet as I just couldn’t cope
I do try to make sure I see a friend a day so that I do have something to get up and out for.
But yes I miss so badly waking up and seeing him and we always said I love you at the start of the day.
It’s such a terrible thing to live through and I wouldn’t have wished this pain on him which is about the only thing I am thankful for right nowIts goos to talk and thank you for replying
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Thank you Shirley
Yes I think the way forward is to have a plan for the day - and even if it starts with crying I have to stop sometime and start the day
It’s so hard - but the funeral is still a week and a half away and I lost him on 8th July
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