The move to nursing home care

My mother has advanced dementia and heart failure. We have been caring for her in her own home but since Christmas she has been bed bound - able to get to and from the commode and a chair in her room with assistance. She is not suitable for palliative care at home owing to the open-ended nature of her diagnoses. The community heart failure nurse has told us that mum is currently stable and could live for another year.
My brother and I therefore feel that the time has come for us to move mum into nursing home care. Mum has not left the house for many years and we know that she will object as fiercely as she is able when faced with this prospect. She is bed bound, upstairs, and will be unable to get downstairs under her own steam.
Thus, it will be a traumatic time for all concerned. Has anyone else experienced this situation and how did they cope? Is the GP likely to help with sedating our mother before the move? Will an ambulance crew assist with getting her to the Nursing Home?
My brother and I both have Power of Attorney for health and welfare as well as finances.
Any advice will be very much appreciated.
Many thanks


Hi Janjorie,

I’m the community manager here, and I just wanted to say hello and welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum’s situation - it sounds as though this is a very distressing time for all of you.

It sounds as though you understandably have a lot of questions about how the move can be managed. The GP would be a good starting point to ask some of your questions. However, it might also be helpful to call the National Dementia Helpline on 0300 222 1122. Their experts can signpost you to the best places to deal with the practical issues, but they may also be able to advise on the best ways to reduce the impact of the move on your mum.

I’m glad that you’ve found this site - it’s a good place to get emotional support from people who understand, so do keep posting and let us know how things go.

We recently had another member, Lou, post that her mum was due to be moved to a nursing home. The circumstances are a bit different, but perhaps you might find it helpful to chat to each other for emotional support? You can read and reply to some of Lou’s posts here:

My wife is in a care home from hospital and has heart failure. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know because I am in the middle of it myself. I find the waiting for messages and results to be the most trying. We can only bear up and do what we can to help each other. This site is amazing and although I have not posted before I intend to do so more in the future. ‘A trouble shared is a trouble halved’ they say, and it does seem to be true. Blessings.