Tonight me and my youngest daughter are off on the sleeper train to see Billy Joel in concert in Cardiff tomorrow.
It should have been a weekend break with my husband, who bought me the tickets for my Christmas ( was on my bucket list)
I’ve given away most of my concert tickets so far this year but I really want to go to this one so I am going to brave it - although I think I might be a blubbering mess at the back.
Hopefully folk will just think I’m drunk !!
Am hoping it won’t be completely full of sadness, but I never know what I get these days so will just need to brace myself for the onslaught of emotions before, during and after.
Wish me luck. Xx
11 Likes
You’ll be fine
Enjoy it and cry if you want
Crying is good
X x
2 Likes
Yes, enjoy it. Get drunk when you get back! A win-win situation. Xx
1 Like
I am supposed to attend my old regimental reunion dinner on the 24th,best dress uniform,elegant beautiful lady on my arm,meeting up with old comrades (those that are still alive) not a chance,first one I’ve missed.
6 Likes
Well done you for going! I know that takes a lot of strength! Try and have a nice time even if you shed a tear or two 
4 Likes
Good luck! Think you’re really brave. I hope you enjoy it.
1 Like
Everything only when you are ready @Ron11 and if it’s too difficult then that’s ok.
The only reason I’m trying is because there is no linked memory with my husband as we have never been to Cardiff or seen this artist before and he wasn’t that bothered about going. And I might not get another chance.
Other concerts I just have given the tickets away as it would have felt like torture to go.
One set left for September and undecided about them. Will see how tomorrow goes. I struggle to listen to any music since he died so it could be a short night and I might just have to leave. But I suppose it’s a bit of progress that I am trying.
So sorry you will miss your day - all these things will be so sad for us all going forward.
Xx
4 Likes
Hi @roni52, sing, dance, cry. It’s kinda cathartic.
Cardiff is a nice place, try and enjoy it as a day/night out.
I am a huge Springsteen fan. This was going to be my summer of Springsteen as I was going to 7 concerts in 6 countries. It was on my return from Cardiff (show no1) that I found my husband had died in bed. We were supposed to be seeing him in Ireland when it was my husbands funeral.
Springsteen’s music has been the soundtrack to my life, he even got 3 mentions in the eulogy I gave for my husband. So it was with mixed emotions I went to 3 of the remaining planned concerts. I sobbed throughout the 1st show, 2nd show I danced and cried. 3rd show I just cried, danced and sang my wee heart out.
For 3hrs I was alive. Not this day to day shuffling half life. So you go, sing along and cry all you need. Xx
3 Likes
Hi Roni52,
I really hope you have a fab time in Cardiff,my event is very much a formal couples occasion,whereas yours I guess is more casual,my wife attended every dinner with me so it would be impossible for me to go without her.
Enjoy as much as you can.
Ron.
4 Likes
So I have been to my concert.
Which was amazing as I knew it would be - just didn’t know how I would cope.
I must say seeing so many couples was very very hard but my daughter was amazing and gave me a hug when I needed one.
There were tears, lots of them, and that feeling that I needed to run / leave kept building up, threatening to suffocate me.
But I also smiled, sang, danced and at one point I had a glimpse of the me that used to be, before grief took over my entire being.
I want to be that person again - although I know I won’t ever be the same, I would like to be able to step away from the sadness at times and just enjoy living again.
I’m sure the next few days will be hideous as that seems to happen for me.
Hope I make it through the dip to the other side.
Rest well all xx
5 Likes
@roni52 well done. You paint a vivid picture of your experience, so I can picture it all. That feeling of dread and wanting to run is familiar to me now, I’d run to the ends of the earth to escape this but unfortunately… it’s not escapable, certainly not in any healthy way.
Well done. I’ve had a couple glimpses of the ‘old me’, walking round the Louvre was one, I felt fully absorbed in the art, I had an ongoing conversation in my head with my husband and I was not consumed by grief for a couple hours, happy in my own company, considering doing an art history course just for fun. I felt hopeful. It did not last but it was something to hold on to.
By going to Cardiff you achieved something you did not think you’d managed and you coped admirably and had a wee glimpse of ‘you’. That’s quite something. I’m lying in bed and I’ve just done an air punch for you. BRAVA lady.
Today, you do whatever you need to do to get through it. Take good care, xx
2 Likes
I’m glad you went, and glad you enjoyed it. It’s a big step forward for you. Since I lost Chris just over a year ago I have been to the theatre more than I have for years. Chris did not like the theatre but I love it. My daughters have both taken me to shows, at least once a month, tears have been shed at most of them, particularly musicals, certain songs set me off but it has opened up an escape route from sitting at home and grieving. I would much rather have him back and miss the shows but I know that can’t happen and I know he would be happy to know I am managing to get some pleasure out of my life.
The 12 month anniversary of his death was on the 29th July and one of my daughters had taken the day off from work and took me for a Spa day and massage and the day passed without too many tears and something has changed for me having gone into the second year without him. I will never stop loving and missing him but I have somehow come to an acceptance of my new life. I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that but hope my sharing this with you will give you hope for the future.
3 Likes
Thanks @Scotty27
It was tough but in a way reassuring as I haven’t been able to listen to any music since he passed, so I was worried I wouldn’t be able to cope at all.
It was also positive to feel some little bit of joy from the concert. It used to be our thing in recent years as the kids got older and we could leave them.
I miss having a passion for anything -
So much of that has gone and I hate just feeling apathetic about almost everything.
I’ve always been emotionally driven, and my husband was always my rock if I got overwhelmed, so being on this journey has been and still is a huge challenge.
Being in the Louvre sounds just my cup of tea - my husband would come along to art galleries with me but not be invested - he would often go investigate the cafe while I would enjoy wandering. Made us all laugh and was never a problem.
Hope you find some more of yourself as well as time goes on.
It is so difficult when we lose them out of time. Xx
1 Like
Hi @Annde - thanks for your encouragement and it does give me some hope when I hear of others managing to move forwards and cope with their loss as time goes by.
It’s amazing that you have been able to do things that bring you some joy and I am
Sure your husband would be delighted that is what you are doing.
It’s not the future you wanted but I’m so glad you have the support from your daughters and its a positive to take into the next year for you.
5 months in and it seems sometimes like I’ll never get through the intensity of the pain, and as my kids are a bit younger they all need me to support them at the moment.
At some point I’ll maybe get some space to really grieve on my own but at the moment I’ll take all the small wins I can and try to hold onto them to stop me from drowning
Take care xx
1 Like
@roni52 I’m glad my post has given you some hope, I honestly didn’t think even two months ago that I could be able to find the peace that I have now. It must be so much harder when you are younger and have young children to support with their journey too. I know we all grieve differently and we all have our own ways of dealing with it but I am sure you will find your own peace in time. I think that after 12 months I have accepted that I can never have the life I had anticipate but I can still have a life that will give me some joy. I have my daughters, grandchildren and even great grandchildren to live for.
3 Likes
Well done. I did the same thing recently but not as good as Billy. I went with my sister in law to see Pretty Woman at my local theatre. I’d booked the tickets in Feb 2023 for me and my wife. It was a good evening and I’m very glad that we went.
3 Likes
So glad you enjoyed it.
We had bought a load of tickets for this year as we were able to get out more as a couple since our kids were getting older and we could leave them for an evening.
Most had too much emotion attached so I gave the tickets away, but my husband wasn’t too bothered about this concert and we had never been to Cardiff before so I think it was easier.
Have a set left for next month to see Texas in Glasgow. Not decided yet as lots of memories attached to that particular venue, band and music.
I have plans to go see other musicals with a friend and some of our kids so am hoping they will be easier. If not I’ll just sit and cry 
Take care xx
3 Likes