Does anyone have any advice on dealing with the nightmares? My husband passed away suddenly, at the age of 43 in his sleep, next to me. I woke up in the middle of the night and realised something is wrong because the room was too quiet. This was nearly 6 months ago and I don’t think I’ve had a single night of uninterrupted sleep since then. I’m struggling with my grief and being physically and mentally exhausted all the time, doesn’t help. Is anyone else struggling with this and/or have any advice on coping mechanisms?
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my wife passed away 2 months ago, only get 1 or 2 hours sleep a night if lucky,I’m worn out,the grief is relentless and the night is a nightmare for me in itself,
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Hi Noedgatzia
I’m so sorry you are having to go through the sudden loss of your husband and at such a young age.
Nightmares often follow a bereavement but especially so when your experience is so traumatic and unexpected.
I have struggled terribly with sleep since losing my partner last August. I was unable to sleep and my head became even more busy during the night leaving me distraught and exhausted. I began to feel increasingly anxious as the day went on because I dreaded the night so much.
I was on my knees with tiredness every day which increased my feelings of distress and hopelessness. A friend firmly encouraged me to see my GP who was so kind. She reassured me that this was a natural part of grief but I didn’t have to suffer without help. She prescribed 1 weeks worth of Zopiclone, a mild sleeping tablet, and arranged a follow up appointment so I didn’t have to ring the surgery to go back.
I took one almost every night for that week and the relief I felt because my body and head had the sleep it needed was such a boost.
When I returned, the GP gave me another small supply to use if I’m struggling. I barely take them now but it helps me just to know I have them and an endless night of worry, longing and tears doesn’t have to happen.
Other than that, the usual tips of trying to keep to a regular bedtime, limited caffeine and alcohol and try and get some exercise and fresh air are helpful ( but hard to stick to when your life has shattered into a million pieces).
I also watch a quiz show in bed or listen to sleep sounds like waves crashing which can help but not so much when you are really distressed.
This is a good place to share how you feel. There are lots of people who will understand and recognise some of what you are going through even though everyone’s journey is different.
Sending a big hug xx
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I lost my partner five months ago and I can say the same. I used to be a good sleeper but I waken frequently and have bad anxiety in the morning. It’s a bit better than in the first couple of months where I was surviving on about two hours sleep. It seems to be a common theme following bereavement as others on the site have said. The five/six month stage seems to be particularly bad when reality sets in and you begin to contemplate how you will survive without your loved one. My friends keep on suggesting I see my GP for medication but I’d rather wait a while yet. Some have suggested meditation recordings, I haven’t tried them. Sorry for your loss but I can’t suggest anything except maybe avoid caffeine as it can make symptoms worse.
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I lost my partner 6 weeks ago, had a sudden cardiac arrest, right in front of me. The flashbacks are unbearable. I get very little sleep. The exhaustion is awful. I’m sorry you’re going through this horrible time too. My GP offered sleeping tablets, I haven’t taken any yet, have you been taking anything to help with sleeping at all. I’m finding comfort on this site talking and reading other people’s posts. I’m just hoping later down the line things do get a bit easier, at the moment it’s unbearable, am so heartbroken 
x
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there was a song heaven has turned out to be this side of the sky,lloyd Weber musical, for myself it should be hell has turned out this side, my wife had a cardiac arrest 8 Jan after a bad copd attack and died ,hardly any sleep, crying most of the time
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So sorry for your loss. This is the most heartbreaking rollercoaster to be on. I don’t know what to do with myself 
I wander around the house in a trance. I hope you have some support from family etc. thinking of you.
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yes its awful, son comes but they don’t really understand the pain you are in, we all seem to be suffering, will it ever end, cant even talk to people when I’m out if they ask how I am, hope you find peace soon xxx
Noedgatzia, you make me feel so fortunate in comparison my wife died in my arms in reality it was a beautiful experience she spent about eight hours in agonal breathing waking about six times each time she held me in her arms saying love you untill her last breath she called her mum. I can’t think about it without crying but it was beautiful. I’m sure your husband is looking over you sending strength. It’s important to address your nightmare and speak with a specialist in this field. Just talking through the how you feel will help. Don’t just keep going on your own, get help.
Hoping you get relief soon. Lots of strength Tom
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I know what you mean. I burst into tears if anyone asks how I am. I hope you try to get out when you can, I do struggle getting out I must admit. I’m working on it slowly.
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So very very sorry for your loss ,the same happened with my husband sudden unexpected heart attack. Uou are in the very early stages and it’s going to be awful for a long time. It is for me too for all of us. All i can offer is the same advise I have been given ,don’t fight the grief take help from wherever you can until you find you can cope on a slightly better basis and realise it’s a massive life changing event that has happened and we will never be the same again ,but I am told we do slowly learn to build a different life . We won’t ever stop missing and grieving our partners but will come to accept the loss and carty on . I really hope you find some kind of peace to at least sleep and cope with whats ahead. Try to eat little and often and get some fresh air daily if only for 10 mins at a time. And reach out where any help is available . Try anything and everything you can talkingbtherapies counselling etc when ready. Good luck.
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Thank you so much for your message. My nightmares comes and goes by now. It’s not every night anymore. I think I’m scared if I take the sleeping tablets I won’t be able to wake up from the nightmares and somehow by now, I’ve taught myself to wake up when the nightmares come. Not great for a sleeping pattern but at least I can control the nightmares. I woke up next to my husband u responsive. I lie, I woke up to my husband being dead next to me. And that is what is causing me my great grief. And possibly the nightmares. But it’s getting better. Surely some nights are better than every night, right? Sending positive thoughts.
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Thank you so much. Your message made me cry as well, but in a good way. I wish my husband went like that but I’m sure you know what I mean when I say I’m glad your wife went the way she did. Sending positive thoughts. 
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Thank you. My kids are in their early 20s. In fact my daughter turned 21 2 weeks after her dad passed away. She’s already contemplating who will walk her down the aisle one day. It’s tough times but we try to help each other through it. Hope you’re ok.
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I want you to know, I read your message back when I posted and going through a really bad time. The nightmares are still there but not as frequent. My husband was on sleeping tablets at the time of his passing and even though by now they found no indication that it had anything to do with the cause of his death, my daughter, who turned 21 2 weeks after his passing is still paranoid, so I instead tried every natural sleeping aid possible and found some way to sleep. I just wanted you to know at rhe time, your words meant a lot to me. Hope you’re doing OK.
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I hope you’re doing better. I can’t say what did it for me, the numerous natural sleeping aids I tried, maybe time, since then I revisited the place where me and my husband met 27 years ago, we were just kids back then, just about 20, and I scattered some ashes. Somehow something happened and I sleep better. I still have nightmares, but it’s less frequent. I hope you are coping OK. X
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Hi Noedgatzia, I’m glad you’re feeling a little better and are managing to sleep at least more easily. I hope you have a peaceful weekend
All the best
Tom 