The pain from Loosing my nan

Hi guys, I lost my nan two days ago and cannot cope. It’s unbearable to sleep and eat. I am going to the doctors to get anti depressants as I feel that’s the only way to get through it. If I don’t I feel the need to leave this world to be with her as she she only one I love more than ahything. I don’t know how to cope. Does anyone know how to cope? Feels as though the pain will not leave. I don’t want to go on living without her but I am scared to take my life incase I go to hell and wont see her again. When I think of her my heart hurts I feel a sharp pain and find it painful to breathe. I can’t accept she’s gone and the family don’t understand as they are sad but not as me so they were shocked when I said I’m not coping. I miss her so much and want her back. Anyone know how to deal with this loss. I find it so hard to go to sleep I hope the tablets work

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