It is now nearly 7 weeks since my beloved husband passed away. Each day, I think I am going to cope better but, each day, I have to succumb to the weeping that overwhelms me. I find myself howling with pain and even screaming out loud to try to relieve it. I am also finding myself waking up several times in the night thinking about all sorts of things - some in the past, some in present, I finally fall asleep only to wake up again shortly afterwards doing the same thing. Company doesn’t seem to make things any better but being alone is excruciatingly painful. Tomorrow, I am going to see a friend who lost her husband just 11 weeks ago and is going to bereavement counselling which she says is helpful. I am so hoping that I can get to receive the same sort of help. Even taking my dog for a daily walk gives little relief at the moment, there are so many memories surrounding me and I find it hard not to think about my husband every single second of every single day. My son and daughter are surely feeling the same way but I cannot be of any help to them at the moment, I am finding coping with this overwhelming sense of loss so painful.
You are so early on your grief journey,all I can offer is the one step at a time,try to be good and take care of yourself,it’s 18 weeks since I lost my beautiful wife,and yesterday for the first time the good people on this site made me smile,lean on us we know what your going through.
Sending comfort and peace
Ron.X
I Iost my husband in April, i have days like you. Think today will be better,but i find myself crying again and again. I started Greif Counselling,as advised by my GP. Iwas given the link for this page & it has helped me, i dont post all the time,but knowing that there are so many others out there going through the same,as helped me a lot. So much support from people i dont know has been so good, infact it has helped me more than the Counselling. Sending hugs.
The earlier weeks/months are pure hell, mine started in March this year when I lost my wife, the last month or so I started feeling more positive and was quite hopeful that finally I could find a little peace from it all, there are quite a few posts where people have said things are getting worse not better, I didn’t really understand this until this week, last week was probably the week I felt the most peace, however, this week bang everything has come crashing back, more and more tears, sometimes overwelming, it’s almost that it is payback time for daring to have had some relief from the pain of it all, it is such an individual experience that we are all going through.
Totally agree @swift
Every relationship if totally different and the way we handle grief is unique to us. But I find some help and comfort from being told, straightforwardly, with no frills, that I did my best and stood by my wife through it all.
I tend to judge myself harshly. It’s a bit like trying to land the blame for it all on someone or something and I’m the fall guy. And although she has died, I remain feeling so sorry for her, for all her struggles. I couldn’t protect her.
Peter