The Process

My wife. Gloria, passed away on August 3rd of this year. Although she was 77 years old, she was active, alert and most importantly loving. We thought for sure that we would have more years together.
Everyone tells me that grieving is a process , and that, in time you’ll be better. I know that the process is different for each individual, but I thought I would see a gradual improvement by now. Truth is I feel the same as I did after the funeral. Will I wake up one day and feel whole again?


Dear Herb,

I am so very sorry you have lost your wife. In my experience we don’t get better from grief but we do get better at it. We learn to live with our grief keeping our loved ones alive in our hearts.
It’s been no time at all for you and your grief will still be very raw. You’re expecting too much of yourself.

I doubt we will ever feel whole again as the one person who made us whole is no longer here. Our lives were so intertwined that we became one. However, I can tell you that you will adapt to this different life, you will find your way but it takes time. I can laugh, dance and sing again, albeit with a sadness deep in my soul. I live my life carrying my husband with me. He is still a huge part of me and always will be. I keep busy and have developed coping strategies along the way. I love to be outdoors, either gardening or walking, to feel the breeze upon my face. The simplest of pleasures have become the most enjoyable. I feel my man everywhere. :heart:

Take care Herb and be patient. Take one step at a time, one, hour, one day but most of all be kind to yourself.


Dear Kate,

Thank you so much for responding to my message. Perhaps I am being too impatient, but what you shared certainly gave me hope.

Thanks again,

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There is always hope Herb, always. Hang on to it. x

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