The Queen passing away brought up a LOT

I’ve cried non stop since hearing about the Queen’s passing :broken_heart:

I think it was a mixture of it bringing up the pain of Dad passing away only 15mths ago but also the fact that Dad had served the Queen for many many years and she was a huge connection to Dad…

And to have that “connection” gone, despite myself never meeting her, has been a lot to deal with…

It’s almost as though it’s the end of an era - with her no longer here, it seems as though my connection to Dad is gone.
I know it’s not because Dad is forever by my side and in my heart but the remembrance day parades will seem different this year with the Queen gone…

Dad always marched in the parades and I went to as many as I could to watch him - and in 2021, despite Dad no longer being here, I still felt connected in the 2minutes silence because the Queen was still alive and I felt I was still taking part on behalf of Dad too (if this makes sense. I’ve not slept and its after 4am and just felt I needed to get this out)

So this year, it feels eerie, strange and I feel lost. Its the end of history as we know/knew it. It’s brought up a lot of pain and emotions. I’ve felt numb, broken, drained and just a big ball of a mess.
But it did also bring some lightness to these dark times knowing that Dad would’ve saluted her as she entered up above.

Whether you believe in Heaven or not, always find hope in something and keep on talking and letting these emotions and feelings out. I didn’t realise it’d hit me this hard but it just goes to show we’re only human and this is all part of grieving. Grief is love which grows stronger as each day passes without our loved ones.

I don’t know if this makes sense, as I say, I’ve not slept and been in bits but I just needed to release it and had no energy to sit and write in my journal.
Sending lots of love to everyone struggling :purple_heart:


Nothing stays the same and this is what struggle with. We have comfort and happiness with family. We feel safe and loved and suddenly it I snatched away. The queen dying and world events occur. Change again upsetting our equilibrium and what we have always known. It all becomes very unsettling and life as we know it has changed forever. It’s so scary without our loved ones beside us x


I’ve been so numb and it just feels surreal and as though the whole world is becoming this big scary place at times. Death is inevitable but it just seems these past few years we’re seeing lots of it which is unsettling. If only we could bring back our loved ones, press pause and live in this immortal bubble :pensive:

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Hello @Nel and @steffi88am21

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling. When a public figure dies, the news can elicit a range of emotions. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

We have a page on grieving for a public figure which can talk you through some of what you may be experiencing right now. You can read it here:

I hope this might be helpful for you right now. Take good care,


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