7.15 am and just this minute taking in my Riverford orgainc home delivery at my front door and just briefly spoken to the man…Whilst unpacking my bags of fruits, my pears and apples and placing some into my new Hartley and Green, Leeds Pottery cream lace fruit bowl and placing the rest in my - our Richards large and solid pottery fruit bowl which we bought directly from the pottery maker when on one of our first dating holidays, the fruit bowl Richard always placed his fruit in, his punnets of cherries, his raspberries, greengages, strawberries, oranges, and his special Victoria Plums, the only variety of plums he ate, etc etc and once again i had myself another cry as his fruit is not inside it, otherwise it is laying empty and i just want to see it full again, only full of HIS fruit and not mine…
It just keeps coming back to haunt us the things we so took for granted and seeing, that we will never see again…
Jackie…
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It is also breaking my heart to think that practically everything bought in our- my home was paid for and bought by Richard yet he is not here to benefit from it, it does not seem right, it does not make sense…he should be here enjoying his hard earnt money…his retirement years, our retirement years, we both worked through our life to earn the right to this., so why was he robbed of this…same as my MS disease, came out of the blue at age 64, all the places we once visited, Stately Homes, large tented Craft Fairs, the Stately Manor House gardens all came to its abrupt ending…
Jackie…
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Shelia…
… that was quite an episode, now all we have left are our memories and our forever love…I too keep having flashbacks to the morning-mid day that Richard died, you see when he had just gotten out of bed, before he ventured into the bathroom-his bathroom opposite to get ready to take our then cocker spaniel the half hour car drive to the pet-groomers, i had noticed again poppy seeds over the kitchen counter top from the poppy seed sliced bread and had another moan to Richard about the mess he had made, guessing from the day before, then i told him, in abrupt speak, not to worry as i have cleared it up, now if i had only known this was the morning i was to lose my Richard i would never, never have complained over something so trivial as POPPY SEEDS…
Neither of us knew what was about to soon happen, how could we have done, it was just another usual week day morning, or so we both assumed it to have been…
Jackie…
We don’t have to not see it again, that’s what memories are for we see it in our mind. I’m Wiccan and in my belief system my husband is in the air I breathe and he follows each step I take. My belief brings me great comfort because I know that when the Wheel of Life turns he will be restored to me in one form or another because nothing is ever truly lost. As a Wiccan I do not fear death, at some stage the Wheel turns and something must be let go but, the Wheel will turn again and whatever was lost will be restored.
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