The first thing always on my mind when i wake up to get out of bed is the emptiness…In just a few years i have gone from a household of me and Richard and our three fur babies, our three gorgeous to me dogs…well one by one all have now departed this earth, and it is just me left now and how i hate being just that one person left…This now life is so so lonely, i just want what i-we once had back but i know we only get the one chance, and this is it for me at age 68…I didn’t realise it then but those 20 years, no not quite 20 years as i shall discount these last 3-4 years since my PP-MS diagnoses as this changed everything for not only me but for Richard too…but the previous 16 years were the best years of our lives although at times it never felt like it as we just went along our way, many days we just wasted, same as weekends and Bank Holidays of doing nothing…I had often said to Richard in the past, " one day we wont have anymore days, weekends, Bank Holidays left to enjoy…" well this day has now come, sooner than expected…I now am beating myself up and wishing we had both made every day count as Richards life is now cut short, our retirement years we have been robbed of…well i maybe still here but in reality my life left me the day Richards life ended…and even if i still have a future, what is this future without my Richard by my side…meaningless, that’s what is is, that’s what it will be…
Jackie…