Hello everyone…Just met someone whose partner died 5 years ago - my partner unfortunately passed away 4 months ago. She has not met anyone else since then, nor, I might add, as she cleared out any of her partner’s things. Nor have I. But I wondered how she coped with being on her own for so long? This lady (she is 62) didn’t really have an answer. Except to say, that her daughter is a regular visitor. I told her that I don’t receive regular visitors. One visitor a week is my total. I have to go out to see people. They rarely come to me. Nor do I receive several phone calls each week from concerned relatives etc.
So, for me, I now have a huge void to fill each day. That is where the loneliness hits me. To be honest, I can’t make my mind up which is worse, my loss or the inevitable and grinding daily loneliness?
After all, there is only so much one can do to keep busy. I have a business to run, but even that takes not a great deal of time each day. And there is only so many times that I can keep rearranging my designer underwear. Or sweeping up leaves from my driveway. What I need is a long-term strategy. But what? It means that when I begin to do something, I have to make sure that the task takes as long as possible to complete.
When you are thrust into the world of loss, there is a yawning chasm opened up in front of you. You can’t ignore it. It is there. You can’t avoid it either. I’m getting fed up living from day to day. It is boring. Maybe I should join my local bingo club? Or go for walks that last all day? Watch daytime TV for most of the day? RayJay…