I lost my Nan on 4th of August. She was also my mum as I’d lived with her since 6 weeks old and last few months she’d moved only a few doors from me so we could be closer. I want to hear her again and I feel absolutely lost without her. Struggling with her not being here and although family supportive, they don’t seem to understand how I really feel at the moment. I hurt so much knowing I just can’t see her or talk to Nan. I hope that by reaching out on this group, I can chat with others who know what this feels like. Thoughts with everyone else here too.
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Hello @dm2331 ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are struggling. I’m so sorry to hear about your Nan. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hello, I’ve just created my account as I lost my nan 3 weeks ago and am in a similar position to you, the pain is so so hard and I am dreading her funeral. Hope you know you’re not alone x
Hi. Thanks for your message and like you I’ve recently joined the group and most importantly like you, just lost my Nan. How hard is it?! The loss is awful and I understand your pain. I’ve been through the funeral and it was very hard although if you can, celebrate your Nan’s life whilst going through the motions of the ceremony. We are lucky people to have had someone in our lives for so long and remember the good times shared. I hope you don’t mind me including this poem and I hope it helps on what will be a very sad day. Here to listen to your story too.
REMEMBER by Kathleen Lanham
Don’t remember me with sadness,
Don’t remember me with tears,
Remember all the laughter,
We’ve shared throughout the years.
Now I am contented
That my life, it was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
When you are walking down the street,
And you’ve got me on your mind,
I’m walking in your footsteps
Only half a step behind.
So, please don’t be unhappy
Just because I’m out of sight,
Remember that I’m with you
Each morning, noon and night
What a beautiful and truthful poem - to remember those that we love and cherish.
Similarly I lost my grandad a week ago - very suddenly and quite traumatically. And a single thought goes round in my head - life without him seems scarier than death itself. The physical heartache and agonising grief is so hard to handle. Just the idea that I’ll never see his lovely smile or feel his bone crushing hugs again. With this comes the guilt of the things I wish id said or done which doesn’t help the grieving process.
I’m sorry that you have lost someone so precious to you - grandparents are such special beings. Especially when they’ve been so prominent and close to you from a young age. The missing them is just painful.
The most important thing I keep in my mind is knowing that there was so much love in the bond. Like you’ve said. Remember the good times and cherished memories.
I’m so sorry you’re going through grief too. I can empathise with the suddenness of loss as like your Grandad, my Nan’s death was unexpected and sudden. Even when they are elderly, we do not expect it to happen and only a few hours before, I was chatting to my Nan as normal. You are only a week in so take extra care of yourself and take each day, each hour, each minute as it comes. It’s sad times and as you talk about the hugs, I guess you’re remembering them and what a lovely and special memory for you to have of your grandad. Thoughts with you.