Aww, it’s 14 weeks for me since I lost my beloved husband. I can hold it together now during the days and I’m back at work which is helping. However, the evenings are a different story, the waves of grief are intense and I feel like I’m going 2 steps backwards. I popped in pub tonight after work and a friend said to me I look more glowing (think this is because I’d put my full make up on for work). I am certainly not glowing, only my love, my beloved husband made me glow. Now I feel really guilty for putting make up on and trying to get through each day. This is a shit life and I am so sad, I’ve cried all night, intense wave of grief, this is what people don’t see.
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Well done for trying to get some bits of your life back, very sad to hear how much you still grieve, I don’t think we ever stop do you?
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You dont have to justify yourself. As someone said in a post do prople just want us to go around in blsck mourning clothes ? Its painful is this. We all understand. We just do the best we can to get through each day xx
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Hi @Jackiepadders @Deb5 @Kathy6
Morning everyone
Yes 18 weeks in for me too since husbands death.
I too have ups and downs yesterday was a down day upset and crying.
I try to keep busy like you say the days i can cope better but the nights alert me to how quiet and long they are without him around. I an trying to learn how to exist without him but this is no easy task. There are no rule books or help to guide us through the hard times we face but somehow we must do now by ourselves.
I hope today is better than yesterday plan to go see my mum who has dementia and has forgotten my husband already even although she saw him over 4 months ago so thats hard too. Life throughs lots of curveball at us getting by each day takes time. Hope everyone has a nice day on this Frid 13th. Take care Lynne x
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Hi , nearly 8 months starting back to work next week on phased return not looking forward to it if I’m honest do I put on make up or not whichever way think I be judged take care all
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Gosh 8 months I hope you get on on with work, don’t push yourself too hard you will be very tired.
Make up and confidence, good luck 
Im so sorry here you have lost your husband. How’s you …
21 weeks still can’t face the world, school runs and dog walk (avoiding usual places or get family to take him) the grief is so intense at times then other times I’m numb/dead. Not sure if it’s grief or I’m sinking into depression but can’t face a trip to the doctors. It’s a vicious circle everyone says give it time but I feel everyday has got worse since. Don’t beat yourself up for trying it’s your journey. Big hugs
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So sorry sah28 know the feeling you just want to hide away , if you can maybe have a telephone consultation with your doctor take care x