My nephew and his fiancee are soon to be married next month in fact.
I received my invitation last july but I was put off by the fact that there was only one name on the invitation mine,invitions usually have the persons name on and guest .When i mentioned it my nephew’s fiancee said that the invitation was for me only. To make it worse the wedding venue is the same place where me and my husband married,so you can imagine Im feeling a bit fragile. Everyone is going to be in pairs and its only 2yrs gone since I lost my husband. To make it worse i got talked into staying the weekend there as well. Im not looking forward to this wedding,dont get me wrong I love my nephew like he was my own and I wish them all the happiness in the world,but I dont know if I can do this.
Hi @Angela60 ,
I feel your dilemma. I’m only 7 months along but ‘events’ are starting to pop up and how long do I keep blowing them off for? We don’t have children and I feel.so visible like I’ve developed some sort of mad neon aura around me screaming…“look at that woman on her own”.
My neice is getting married in the summer and I haven’t as yet been invited. No one has told me the date but Ive heard its on the anniversay of the funeral and I am so tempted to just book a holiday away for then and save everyone the dilemma. We’re not a close family as you can see…mostly obligation and resentment it feels.
I’m not the most sociable animal but I have always been pretty independent and I hate the idea that I will be too scared to go anywhere again unless I have a chaperone. The reality is that the only person I ever wanted to go anywhere with is Martin and I’m trying to find the belief that he’s with me anyway. And so…my brother in laws band has a gig in May. Ive bought a ticket, told no one and Im trying to pluck up the courage to go on my own. I mean what’s the worst that can happen? The worst has already happened! It’ll be dark and noisy so no one will see me cry and I won’t need to chat. We’ll see how brave I am nearer the time but I’m trying to think of it as I’m taking Martin to see them.
Maybe there’s a sign there about it being in the same hotel and that your husband will be there with you too. It’s so hard though isnt it and there is no right or wrong decision here. I wish I had some wiser words xxx
Really hard deciion to make… ive been invited to my 1st wedding without my husband and im not enthusiastic about it all but i will go make the most of the day and come home … it will be hard feeling like a ‘spare part’ but I’ll do it… its just something to do to pass another day …
@Angela60
I turned down an incision which was just for me as I knew I couldn’t do it but it wasn’t someone as close as that. I do think they could have added one more so you could take someone with you.
We have my own daughter’s wedding this year and I know that we be hard too. We were discussing who I would sit with a week or so ago.
I think these invitations are so difficult to deal with. What are meant to be happy occasions are just a trial and a worry.
Hugs
Karen xxx
@Stillhiswife @MaryAE @KarenF thank you for replying.Its now the weekend of the wedding
already I feel tearful.Been running around like a headless chicken trying to find a dress only cos I had no enthusiasm in looking for one.
Still not looking forward to this more to do with the fact I will feel like billy no mates.
This is one of 1st without my husband but hopefully it will soon pass over. I’m sure my husband will be there with me in spirit holding my hand .xxx
Just take deep breaths and tell yourself i can do this … wishing you all the best… it will be tough but you’ll survive and tomorrow you can congratulate yourself and feel proud of your acheievement … x
I’m sure he will be with you and if it helps I’m there with you too, cheering you on. Xxx❤️
@Stillhiswife @MaryAE I survived.It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be infact dare I say I had a brilliant time. Only on the morning of the wedding at breakfast I was sitting on my own in an adjoining room,the head waitress didnt know just sat and looked on my phone keeping my fingers crossed that breakfast wouldnt be long.
Sometimes these events can catch us unaware. Thanks everyone for your advice.
Take care xxx
Well done you 
what a big achievement I’m so pleased you had a good time 
Incredibly well done to you @Angela60
I have found a couple of things were not as bad as the anticipation and I hope that works out to be the case for all of us.
I think it’s natural to dread things and takes bravery to go and do them regardless, which you certainly showed. Maybe I should learn from you and try some of the things I’m putting off.
Thanks for sharing your success with us.
Karen xxx