Hello
I keep asking myself that there has to be end point to this unbearable grief. I’ve lived with this for nearly 8 years after I lost my mum. Honestly I don’t see an end point to it. I go to work and I feel it in work and on my rest days I feel it to. It’s never ending so come on I want it to stop. I don’t want to feel like this anymore i didn’t ask for it
Yet when I cry it doesn’t change anything if anything there’s temporary release for maybe few days then I’ll have another bad day. I feel like I’m going on here and what good is it doing. Absolutely none
3 Likes
What I’ve come to terms with recently is there is no life without grief. The rest of life is learning to live with it.
Yeah, f*cking sucks right?
Your feelings will always be valid, no matter how long you are grieving, and I wish you the best in moving forward with that. Be patient and kind to yourself, surround yourself with support if you can, or take time alone. Try and appreciate the good times as much as you can when they come around to get you through.
2 Likes
Hello Rosie
Thanks for your kind words.
I am doing my best to come to terms with my own grief and whilst I accept it’s in my hands only I’ve accepted my grief will be with me for the rest of my life. It’s just still very raw for me right now.
Take care
2 Likes
Please don’t accept that your grief will be permanent. It’s not easy to travel through it, but it’s very possible for us to get through it.
The most important thing for me was to accept I’ve got a new life to live. It will almost certainly be quite different, but nevertheless, still worth living.
I asked myself : Starting from where I am, how would I like this new life to be? I wrote it down, and for a while I kept coming back to it and modified it until I was happy.
Then, using little and big steps I moved towards making it like I wanted. It included financial things, what car do I want/need, hobbies, friends, relationships, pets, holidays, garden etc
I’ve achieved virtually every one of them, it’s taken a lot of changes, and sheer bloody mindedness, and life is good again. I never forget Penny, and very often talk to her about what I, and her dogs, have got up to.
I still have little emotional crises from time to time, but in my new life I am confident of overcoming them. (Sometimes with the support of some lovely people on here.
Never give up!!!
I am with you, Tykey. Or at least I hope to be eventually. It has only been 3 weeks for me but I know that I have to carry on and make an acceptable life for myself, my disabled daughter and my son who has been a great support to me and his sister. I know that he has to see that I can be happy again and that he is not going to have to carry on caring for both of us. He deserves to live his own life. I can recommend two books that have helped me. You Are Not Alone by Cariad Lloyd and Death And How To Survive It by Kate Boydell.
As I said, I am still in shock and crying several times a day. But I am determined that my life will not always feel so desolate.
Hi @Willow112 , with your attitude, I’m sure you will come through it, and look back with pride.3 weeks is an incredibly short time, be patient and just hang on until things turn your way.