When my partner died last week, I wasn’t called back to the hospital in time to be with him. I keep wondering how he was and if he was feeling so alone and I can’t stop crying.
Hi @Genie1. Please don’t feel bad about what happened. You had no control over the situation and I’m sure your partner knew you loved them. Perhaps you could write them a letter if you feel that you have things you didn’t get to say to them.
It’s such early days for you , please be kind to yourself and don’t expect too much.
Just one day at a time.
Take care. Xxx
Thanks @roni52. I know he knew I loved him but I hate to think of him dying alaone with me not holding his hand.
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I came home after spending all day at my husband’s side and he was obviously not going to last very long but I went home asking the care home to phone me if there was any change but they didn’t phone me in time and said he passed suddenly and nobody had checked on him for 20 minutes. I just had a phone call from an abrupt nurse to say that she was sorry to tell me but my husband had died 10 minutes ago. So I have always felt dreadful and that was 2 years ago. But these things happen I guess but it hurts so much.x
My son who died of secondary bone cancer aged 47 had special needs,he was in hospital. The day before he ate his dinner,and although we knew the prognosis was not very good we thought he was not near the end.
Every morning he would phone me up,saying wake up you sleepy head get out of bed.On that Monday morning he did not phone .I phoned him, I heard bloody hell as he dropped his mobile . He said my arm has been hurting me all night,I sort of guessed it was his heart ,I said we are coming. Now the hospital had not phoned me to say he had taken a turn for the worst.
We got to the hospital , got the nurse to get him more morphine. We held his hands,told him we loved him . He said I got to go now, I said where he said death their come for me.
He died at ten minutes to two, visiting times which would have been when we would have come to visit was two o’clock. I truly believe after that there must be something else after this life. 
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Yes, it’s awful. I can’t get it out of my head that he died alone.
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I am so sad and sorry. I have a daughter with special needs.
But your post gives me hope. I so want to believe that there is something after death. It just doesn’t seem possible that there is nothing.
Xx
I hope there is too