I’ve recently lost my mum, no doubts you have all heard it before, but she truly was more than just my mother.
She was my rock and when I came out as a gay man to her, many years ago, not only she gave me all the support I needed but she also became the national president of an association which was created to support parents with gay children. The association flourished under her leadership and by the time she retired, it became a beacon of hope for many people in the LGBTQIA+ in my native country ( Italy).
My mum passed away unexpectedly last August and I am truly struggling accepting her passing. Everyone around me tells “ things will get better” “ she would want you to move on” but it really doesn’t feel like that. Every day is harder than the previous one, I keep thinking I must ring her every time something happens and often cry myself to sleep.
We often talked about death and I know she wasn’t afraid of it but I also know she would have liked to prepare for her final journey but sadly she wasn’t able to. I think that is what hurts the most.
I no longer talk about my feelings to my partner and friends because I often get the usual lecture and that upsets me even more. Moving on it is not as easy as it sounds. I feel alone in my pain and it hurts me to see the rest of my family living their lives as normal. I know we all react differently to bereavement but that is how It feels for me. I get up go to work get home and don’t want to talk to anyone. When I am with my partner I pretend I am fine, I have stopped calling my friends, I just feel I am going through life in a robotic way. I am truly heart broken….
Im so sorry for your loss.I lost my mum nearly 3 years ago now.We had our ups and downs but in the end we were closer than wed ever been then just before December 1st 2021 she had a stroke.The ambulance didnt get there in time so the damage was done. i had to wait 6 days to see her by then she was in an induced coma.She battled till the end but her body wasnt strong enough.Her lung collapsed and the doctors said theres nothing more they could do.I know how hard it is when youve recently lost your mum.The world keeps going but your life has stopped.Just know as time passes the feelings will become less intense and you will be happy again.Its a painful journey but you will be ok.
Im sure your mother is watching over you.Sending you a big hug
So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum suddenly December 22 and her first anniversary is coming up. I understand what you mean mine was more than just a mum she was a security blanket for me and my son and we are lost without her. I don’t feel like it’s getting any easier and my cousin who lost my aunt a few months before said whoever said it gets easier is talking rubbish as it’s still very raw. Just know that you are not alone in how you are feeling and do what you can for you nobody else
So sorry for your loss,
My grandfather passed away on the 22nd November and his funeral was on the 14th December, I thought I had dealt with my tears and intense sadness but its coming back like a rollercoaster and i want to get off of it, Ive accept that he has gone and is no longer suffering but the pain is still so raw and I find myself thinking of him most of the time.
its beginning to affect my relationship with my husband who to is dealing with his own grief (his father passed away unexpectedly in May) but all i want to do is be with my parents as im terrifed that some thing is going to happen to them. Everyone around me is telling me to move on but i just dont know how.
@Fargo59 sorry for the pain of your grief. You write about your mum with so much love and admiration. Reflecting on everything she achieved is part of the process of accepting what has happened. Give it time and you will find ways to manage your grief. I’m not a believer in the idea of ‘moving on’ but time passes and feelings shift. Gradually you will live through days that will feel lighter and you’ll remember all the memories with love. Keep going as it’s the best way to truly honour your beloved Mum. Don’t be afraid to speak of her and share how much she meant to you. Best wishes xx
Rosie pink couldn’t have said it better, we all need time to grieve and everyone grieves differently please Fargo 59 take all the time in the world to grieve for your much loved mum don’t listen to family or friends about moving on, you will know when the time is right for-you, listen to your heart, grieve for as long as it takes, sounds like you had an amazing mum x
