Things - life, will get better...

I am reading so many posts of where they have been told by " do-gooders who mean well " that life, things will get better…" what a load of nonsense, clap trap, how will things ever get better…we only move forwards… a case of having to…
I think us older generation always knew it would not last that one will go before the other but, the difference between saying something and it actually happening is -was the last thing on anyone’s mind…
We are all left facing a future we never saw coming…When in my slightly younger days back in the village we set up home in, i would walk three dogs, the loves of my life, sadly one by one they too have gone to the rainbowsbridge…I would often pss a singlle older man or lady who was out and about walking or just coming back from the newsagents carrying his paper, one elderly man always tipped his cap and said a good morning to me as he passed, i had often come back home and said to my Richard that men rarely do that anymore and it was nice to know that this gentleman was of the old fashioned generation of politeness, something we rarely see anymore nowadays…Well, i often wondered how many of these people were a single person after losing their hubby or wife, we just dont know what is going on with these peoples lives, are they lonely, what kind of life have they experienced…On talking to one elderly lady with a zimmer frame some years ago, she had such an interesting life story…how many young see that us elderly have had a good life, or the experiences in life that we once had…Anyway i have now become one of them after suddenly losing my Richard 11th April…I wonder how many lonely men and women are really out there tat our younger generation will never know there life story or that they-we have not long lost our other half of several years and have become lost ourselves, would they even care…did we care when we were fit, healthy and younger and had our whole lives ahead of us…

Jackie…

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I understand this…people are too quick to judge, I always think of people, why they are they like this or what’s caused that. We take our two pups into care homes and they adore it and it lifts their spirits x

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Yes there is something about stroking a pet…I know i would welcome a dog, dogs back into my life, only hope i can make this happen as my three dogs, i have had dogs and even cats before…are-were, the loves of my life…I had even told Richard, and he knew i wasn’t joking, that he came last in the pecking order…my dogs came before him…he would always smile over me saying this as i think he knew that i did mean it,…and of course i was laughing as i said it…I had told him once when our bottom of the stairs house fire alarm suddenly went off, it was just low in battery, when i made a dash ( before my MS ) downstairs leaving the computer, and made a grab at the three dog leads on the hook in the hallway, ready to grab the dogs and take them out the front door to safety, telling Richard he will have to fend for himself…

Jackie…

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I was actually reflecting on that very thing, we certainly did not realise just how painful the loss of a partner can be. Both sets of parents have now passed away and it was the mothers that were left. I take comfort that they both went on and lived the life they had. I now know that it would have taken determination to do so. Both lived into their 80s.
Now I know I will join my husband again, I also know he wants me to make the most of the time I have been given. I try to avoid negativity, it’s destructive, so I have positive, caring people around me. But I too have to show others the same. Life is too short, that hit home for me on 20/3/18. I am thankful for the 47 years I had my husband’s physical presence, I carry on with his spiritual presence. I guess that’s what our Mothers did too.

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i think i can take a leaf from my late father, he fought in the WW2 war, and he-they had the slogan of " soldiering on…" this is now our reality, people-family have died before us, people will die after us, it will be our time at some point…I dont know why i am still here, nor why my Richard is not still here, i have no clue as to for what purpose i am still here but, i am still here, as to whether i want to be here is another question…and hand on heart a question i am not sure how to answer, as i feel it is a 50 -50% as to whether i have the energy, the will to a now uncertain future or just want to curl up and leave this world behind and go join my Richard…i just dont know which way it will go…

Jackie…

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That’s what we do Jackie, soldier on. We have no choice. I can honestly say though, I have never wished to be dead. I don’t want to die, not yet. I still have stuff and people to live for. However, losing David has taken away my fear of dying.
SanW, wise and positive words, thank you, always needed.
My mum, sadly gone now, lost my stepdad when she was in her late seventies. I thought it would have given her a new lease of life but that was through my ignorance. Looking back I see now that she lost her sparkle and it never really returned. She never spoke of her grief, not once.
David lost his mum many years ago, I never knew her. His dad remarried a much younger woman. When his dad died, his second wife remarried within months. It just shows how different we all are.
To have had the love of our wonderful men makes us very lucky ladies but that’s why it hurts so much. It is both our glory and our tragedy. Xx

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I dont know how much more i can take of my Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis…any quality of life is now deteriorating… my only hope, my future, my life was my Richard…, yes it is -was his 75th Birthday today…

Hi jackie
You’re bound to be feeling it more today on Richard’s birthday. You probably spent every birthday together and did something nice.
I had spent every birthday with my mum for 48 years so mums 75th in November was very difficult. I couldn’t believe she wasnt around to see it. I thought she would see another 10 or 15 birthdays.
I’m sure all of this applied to you too. It’s not easy but I tried to treat the day as just another day and tried not to think of what it meant x