Thinking of xmas

Thinking of christmas just has made me sad today. This is the first christmas without my mum. It willl around months this when we reach christmas day and i dont know what to think.
Lately i have been looking at other people and thinking they are ok as they have other family members. (My relative’s etc) me i lost my mum this year and my MIL last yr so every christmas has been changing while i losing my family. My mum was my life, i dont have many friends and covid has made this all harder as all i wanted to do was be with my mum and see my best mate. I feel i am just ploding along doin what your ment to do (work, eat, sleep, taking little one to school)

Dunno why I’m writing this really. Just always end up feelin abit low when im at home for the day, thinking of things.



Sorry for your loss. Sometimes just putting your thoughts on here help you to shift them from your mind. It also makes you realise that actually there’s probably a good few of us lost in our thoughts, once we’re are on our own.

By postings it’s just a small reassurance that we all need every now and then that we are not alone, others are listening,
I know I turn to this site, my new family, every time I feel the need to belong.

Take care
Dee xx


This will be my first Xmas with out my partner too.
I was cleaning our back bedroom this morning which is overlooking the garden .
Looking down from the bedroom window I saw the hammock which was Pauline’s favourite spot she was so proud of her garden and enjoyed the summer when all the flowers came out and on windowsill was a clock but the time was wrong it was forward a hour.
I wound the clock back and I thinking to myself I wish I could have wound it back further to that summer again.
I know xmas this year will be my saddest and I can’t change that feeling that I have.
The best advice I could give is try to bound closer to your friends.


That’s what this site is for
It lets you know that you are not alone
And how you are feeling we all feel the same
I loved Christmas I was a big kid
I would decorate the whole house inside and out with decorations
I can’t do it now too many memories and they put me in a dark place
So you do what’s best for you
Maybe a different routine to make new memories
It does get easier to cope with the loss but the heartache never leaves you
I find the same when I have time on my hands you start to think what you are missing
But try and remember you had those good times you were loved some people never feel that
Talk on this site
Look at what your conversation has started
The answers might help you or others

Sending my love

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