I am seeing a therapist but seem to be getting worse as each day passes. I can see no way to ever learn to live with this loss. I see no way forward.
Hi Newemptynester,
Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about your son, it must have been devastating. You must miss him terribly, and I can see that you are really struggling.
When you say that you see no way forward, does that mean that you have had thoughts of suicide? It’s very good that you’re going to therapy, and I hope you start to feel that it’s making difference. I think you could also do with some extra support, and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We have other users here who have lost a child and will understand some of what you are feeling. Hopefully, you will get some supportive replies soon, but while you wait, you may find it helpful to read and reply to some conversations between others who have lost children, for example:
https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/losing-my-20-year-old-son-month-ago-0
https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/loss-our-son-aged-27
https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/my-son-0
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org). You do not need to be having suicidal thoughts to call them.
Child Bereavement UK - supports families with the loss of a child of any age. 0800 02 888 40. http://www.childbereavementuk.org
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offers local support groups, a helpline, and email support for those affected by the suicide of a loved one. 0300 111 5065 http://uk-sobs.org.uk/
The Compassionate Friends - supports families who have lost a child of any age. 0345 123 2304. https://www.tcf.org.uk
You deserve care and support so please, Newemptynester, get in touch with one of these services.
If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
Best wishes,
Irene
I’m newly bereaved and I’m in pain but my heart goes out to you dear Newemptynester. Therapy is a good start, please try to keep it up, when you can. At times the pain will get worse but it’s part of the grieving process. You are most definitely not alone and I send you my sincerest hopes that in time, your heart will be less heavy. Take good care of yourself. Chrissypits
I have had loss in my life too, I find having and seeing daily lots of sansevieria plants (take little care) plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables (on my overdoor hangers from Argos) regular meals of wholesome homemade soup daily comforting. Personal space, listening to audiobooks helps. Singing in a choir, church or other community space.
Different things for different people, I hope you/both find you/again and your 19 year old (was it your son) in some way in which you had in the time you spent together.
Hi
I sadly know exactly the pain & anguish your are feeling. My 20 year old son also passed away this Dec. My only child. Absolutely destroyed, as you say there is no future. The worst loss ever. Always here whenever you want to talk, big hugs xxx
Newemptynester.
I lost my 29 year old son also in Dec in car accident. The pain is overwhelming , I’m also joined tcf (compassionate friends) is for bereaved parents, no matter how old or how a child died.
I don’t know how we learn to live with our loss, advice I got is take each day minute hour at a time. Each day we take little step, anything else would just be too much.
We wake and we don’t know how? The pain thoughts feelings emotions all twisted. Life I had is over and I must somehow try figure a ‘new life’ , it is a long lonely journey we are here to try and help and support each other .