This is why we all hurt so much

We all hurt so much at the loss of our loved ones because we have been given the precious task of keeping their memory alive. We carry them so gently in our hearts that we are afraid of damaging or erasing any memory that we might need to draw on to give us comfort into the future. We want others to remember them with as much love and affection as we ourselves do. All the things that they never got to do or see we must now do for them. Yes it is hard and very sad to carry on our journey alone and the tears may never stop but we carry the responsibility now for helping our loved ones stay fresh in our hearts and memories or ourselves and others until we can be united one day in the future. Love and light. x


Dear Jean

One of my biggest fears is that others will forget my husband. Many friends and family have already stopped contact after the funeral and this really hurts. I wonder if they ever think of him.

Sheila x

Hello Sheila26. I think others do think about the person we’ve lost but they don’t like to mention them too often in case it upsets us. Whilst our special person is always on our mind, others get on with their lives because they do not feel the same pain that we do.
People drop away after the funeral because the covid situation has disrupted their lives too and as they are not allowed to visit you they just cope daily as best they can. Maybe it will change for the better when this pandemic is over.
You do have the support of others on this site which will probably give you more comfort than you would have received from people around you.
Love and light…x

Dear Jean

Thank you. Yes this site does bring comfort and I am grateful to have found it.

Take care

I agree with you about the job of keeping memories alive, I lost my husband Mark three months ago, and close friends will ring to check on us and have a general chat but never mention Mark even though they have known him for over 40 years. When I bring him into the conversation, they change the subject, and I don’t know if it’s because they are worried about upsetting me, or they have just run out of things to say, but it really hurts.

Dear Gilmar

So sorry for your loss life is just so difficult and sad.

Ian would help anyone. Our next door neighbour is in her 90’s and sent me a message relating to Ian which read ‘simply the best’ and he was. I just struggle with family and long-term friends not bothering to get in contact. My son tells me to let it go but some of these were the people who posted the news items about Ian’s death on facebook and welcomed the messages of sympathy sent their way as a result.