This strange new reality

The last two days the weather has been pleasant here. I have seen people, visited a couple of our favourite places and tried very hard. But outside one sees couples and families walk-in, talking, sharing. I walk mostly alone but people chat to break the silence. Then it’s that solo walk back to an empty home, once full of chatter and general sounds I so wish I could hear now. Existence not life.

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Hi @Malc39200
There is no easy way to walk in this new reality we have each had forced upon us. It is going to take time to adjust to what our lives have become.
I hope you will have days when you can find the good memories taking over from the emptiness.
xxx

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I’ve found it hard seeing couples hold hands, I’ve even held out my hand to just perhaps feel a slight breeze or warmth of the sun there.

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Sorry for your loss. Yes, I can understand that.

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Hi Malc39200 I remember in first lockdown just 3months after my husband had passed. I was so fed up jealous angry all I see were couples smiling and holding hands. I felt so angry. I hope it helps to know others understand and have similar feelings.
Take care

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I understand what you mean. I now order all my “stuff online”…I’ve been to a store once since I lost my Martin; I just stared at couples, chatting, laughing, holding hands; felt physically sick… it’s probably not a good thing, but I have only left my home 4 times since Martin’s funeral ( August 17th) I WFH and am now into my 3rd week back . It’s such a nightmare and I’m frightened that I am just “avoiding everything” My brother popped over to see me this evening & I just dissolved into tears… I do try whilst working ( don’t want to be the weeping girl on Zoom) but I find myself saying more and more, what is the bloody point! Love to you all… Xx❤️

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I am sorry …

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It does feel “odd”, that’s for sure.
I sometimes feel like I’m living someone else’s life and not my own.
I find, I don’t notice other people around and about though, as I’m too busy concentrating on what I’m doing and where I’m going and where did I park the car?!
It’s exhausting flying solo.

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I lost my wife just over 12 months ago. I remember that feeling well. Going on long walks in the streets nearby and hoping someone would stop and talk to me. I still miss her every day but I would be lying if I said it hasn’t got easier.
Still hate being alone in a quiet house.
Karen is in every nook and cranny I haven’t discarded a single thing of hers.
Loved my life with her and hate being lonely.
But you just keep going and as I say it is getting easier but I have accepted life will never be as good.

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I’ve done the same!

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My husbands name is Martyn, I lost him suddenly on 30th Aug. He was 64 and never sat still. He was always out and about doing stuff. I know he wouldn’t want me to stay home and so even though it’s hard I take up every offer to be with people I’m happy to be home but there are times when I need people especially family and close friends.
I’m sure your Martin would want you to be more like your old self. He loved you and no one can take that away ever x
Thinking of you x

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I found it very difficult the first shop I did as I kept seeing his favourite foods and not buying them in the end I just had to get to the till and leave

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My wife died 3 years ago , I still pretend to hold her hand when out walking. It does get easier. But never goes away.

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Hi. Palmart. I see you live in Bracknell. I used to live in Crowthorne. I live in Ireland now , but visit Bracknell every couple of months as my son still lives there.

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Sorry for the late response. I really appreciate your kind words… Thank you… sending you love x​:heart::pensive:

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Oh i feel that too couples at the supermarket ir at their cars chatting loving helping holding hands its all so unfair …i feel my life has ended since hub died x

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