It must be the case in any happy marriage that a spouse had little ways that irritated the other half. Oh, how we wish they were here to do those same things again, they wouldn’t irritate us now, would they ? And how we regret any snappiness or sarcasm we showed . . .
They make us smile now, “Remember how Mum always (whatever it was) ? Gosh, that used to really get on my wick”
Anyone care to share such bittersweet memories along these lines ?
Eileen used to seek my approval for so many things, and would say, “Do you agree ?”
Of course, big decisions needed this sort of cooperation, but in her later years she’d do it much more frequently.
I didn’t think she should need my say-so, as I respected her judgement and Iin any case I wouldn’t complain after the event, so I’d say grumpily, “Look, you don’t have to seek my approval, I’m sure you’ve sorted out the best option.”
God, how I miss her.
Agree with you 100% Edwin. I cannot believe the amount of moaning and grumbling I did about Ken leaving his things around - I’d give anything I have to be picking up after him still. Ken had little button-pushing traits that made me waspy, and I would say to him “You’re annoying and you KNOW you’re annoying” and he’d give me this little grin, to which I would (jokingly of course) say “And you can get that effing smirk off your face before I punch it off.” Isn’t it amazing how death teaches us what really matters?
My David had many annoying little habits but the thing which drove me to distraction was when he would fall asleep in front of the telly “I’m not asleep, I’m just resting my eyes” he would say. I wish he was just resting his eyes now…
Yes, wouldn’t that be wonderful, Kate? These are the hundreds of little intimacies we have to try and do without - it’s so bloody hard.
How I used to annoy Ken (just one way of many): Getting out of the shower with washed hair, pulling the blankets back if he was still in bed, and shaking my sopping wet hair all over him. Sadistic, maybe. I can still hear him saying “Jesus, you BUGGER!”
And these are memories which make us smile. May we always remember…xx